|
|
|
|
5s
|
-[beeps] -[woman] Bro, remember Obama?
|
|
8s
|
[man] I do not. Who's that?
|
|
9s
|
[woman scoffs] Asshole. You do. Cut it out, man.
|
|
11s
|
-[man] Barack Obama. Just hit me. -[woman] Of course.
|
|
14s
|
Barack Hussein, which by the way is the coldest middle name in the game.
|
|
18s
|
It's like if my middle name was Gambino Crime Family.
|
|
21s
|
-It's just gangster. Come on, man. -[man laughs]
|
|
23s
|
-I mean, he smoked Newports. -[woman] Newports.
|
|
24s
|
[man] What else you gonna say?
|
|
26s
|
The president of the United States was smoking Newports.
|
|
29s
|
I'm like, this is my guy.
|
|
30s
|
[woman] Bro, has to be.
|
|
31s
|
He's smoking the preferred cigarette of crackheads across the globe.
|
|
35s
|
[man laughing]
|
|
35s
|
[woman] That's what I love about Barack, is like, he's become such an icon.
|
|
39s
|
He's kind of like Jesus.
|
|
40s
|
Like, he could just be whatever version of him you want him to be.
|
|
43s
|
-[man] Hmm. -[Mo] My Barack does gay stuff sometimes.
|
|
46s
|
-[man laughing] -[woman] Only when on coke.
|
|
47s
|
You know what I'm saying?
|
|
48s
|
He don't do a lot of coke, just, like, a little bit off the nail.
|
|
51s
|
And just only when it's, like, special occasions.
|
|
53s
|
Like a real big win.
|
|
55s
|
He's like, "I'mma do coke and a little bit of gay stuff."
|
|
57s
|
[man] Does your Barack do coke to excuse his gay stuff?
|
|
1:00
|
-[woman] Of course. -[man] Right.
|
|
1:02
|
Then he just has an out at the end to go, like, "I was on coke. It was fine."
|
|
1:05
|
-[woman] Yeah. -[man] Okay.
|
|
1:06
|
But really he just woke up that day wanting to do some stuff.
|
|
1:08
|
-[woman] "Gonna do gay stuff." -[man] Yeah.
|
|
1:10
|
-[woman laughing] "Let me get a bump." -[man chuckles] Yeah.
|
|
1:13
|
-["Chitty Bang" by Leikeli47 playing] -[vocalizing]
|
|
1:24
|
♪ Back again up in this motherfucker Entertain us, all you motherfuckers… ♪
|
|
1:28
|
[woman] Yo, yo, yo! Welcome to The Mo and E-Z Show.
|
|
1:31
|
I'm Mo, and to my left is my favorite Jew with nothing to do, my boy E-Z.
|
|
1:36
|
It was a better time, in general.
|
|
1:38
|
-2014, bro. Just a good year. -Unbelievable.
|
|
1:41
|
-Meek Mill was with Nicki. -Mm-hmm.
|
|
1:42
|
Bobby Shmurda came out and went in.
|
|
1:45
|
-[chuckles] -You had the Ice Bucket, uh, Challenge.
|
|
1:47
|
-[Mo] Yes, yes. -[E-Z] What was that, ALS?
|
|
1:49
|
Dude, ALS is the most paid disease of all time.
|
|
1:52
|
-[laughing] -ALS made more than LeBron that year.
|
|
1:55
|
-ALS is on the boat with Jay and Beyoncé. -[laughing] For sure.
|
|
2:00
|
They're like, "Let me tell you what it's like to be rich."
|
|
2:03
|
♪ Ooh, chitty-chitty bang… ♪
|
|
2:05
|
The BLM movement, though, is so serious right now.
|
|
2:09
|
It's everywhere, for sure.
|
|
2:10
|
This feels like they got the same people who did marketing for Cuties and kale.
|
|
2:13
|
-[laughing] -They're Blackening everything.
|
|
2:15
|
Black iCarly, Black Wonder Years,
|
|
2:18
|
which is set in the same time period,
|
|
2:20
|
and it's like, bro, I don't wanna watch Black Kevin Arnold
|
|
2:22
|
gets sprayed by a hose for a half an hour every friggin' Friday.
|
|
2:26
|
[laughing]
|
|
2:28
|
Yeah, I feel like once a Black person won a gold medal for swimming,
|
|
2:31
|
it was pretty much a wrap on race relations.
|
|
2:34
|
Yo, I saw a dude fencing in the Olympics, a Black dude, this past Olympics.
|
|
2:37
|
-I was like, "Man, too much." -[laughs] You're like, "Over the line."
|
|
2:39
|
-Over the line. Back up. -[laughing]
|
|
2:41
|
Like, when they took the Confederate flags out of NASCAR,
|
|
2:43
|
I was like, "Nah, let 'em have that."
|
|
2:45
|
You take too much too fast, they be out looking for meat.
|
|
2:48
|
-[laughing] -You know what I'm saying?
|
|
2:56
|
[crowd singing in Hebrew]
|
|
3:01
|
[singing continues]
|
|
3:21
|
[singing continues]
|
|
3:33
|
-Please be seated. -[E-Z] Oh, my God.
|
|
3:35
|
That was standing up for 45 minutes.
|
|
3:38
|
-That was, like, the longest one. -[woman] Shh!
|
|
3:42
|
So we just finished widduy, the confession,
|
|
3:45
|
which we do in the plural.
|
|
3:47
|
-We take responsibility… -[woman 2 chuckles]
|
|
3:49
|
Mom, why do I have to wear this dress,
|
|
3:50
|
and he gets to dress like he's at Summer Jam?
|
|
3:53
|
[rabbi] …lives were created, but these…
|
|
3:55
|
Ezra, where's your yarmulke?
|
|
3:59
|
Oh, shit. Left it in the car.
|
|
4:00
|
Okay. Honey, I'm not square, okay?
|
|
4:04
|
Nobody thinks I'm square. Everyone thinks I'm cool.
|
|
4:07
|
-I'm hip. -[groans]
|
|
4:08
|
People think I'm a very youthful person.
|
|
4:11
|
"I get it." You know, you're expressing yourself with these illustrations.
|
|
4:14
|
Graffiti all over your body. Okay, fine.
|
|
4:17
|
But it is Yom Kippur, goddamn it.
|
|
4:21
|
First of all, can you please stop saying "I get it" and using air quotes?
|
|
4:24
|
And second of all, when someone says, "I'm cool. I get it,"
|
|
4:27
|
they never are cool, and they never get it.
|
|
4:29
|
-You shouldn't have to say that. -That's not true.
|
|
4:32
|
You won't be able to be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
|
|
4:34
|
Bubby, I love you so much, respectfully,
|
|
4:37
|
but I'll be dead.
|
|
4:39
|
I don't give a shit where I'm buried, respectfully.
|
|
4:41
|
You can take my ashes, and you can flush them down the urinal
|
|
4:44
|
at Dodger Stadium, respectfully.
|
|
4:45
|
Oh, so now you're disrespecting the Dodgers?
|
|
4:48
|
I wanna be buried next to Rihanna.
|
|
4:50
|
-[mother] Rihanna? -[man] Yeah.
|
|
4:52
|
Okay, I'm gonna scrape those tattoos off myself,
|
|
4:55
|
and I'm gonna bury you in a double-wide coffin with me.
|
|
4:58
|
-Okay, how about that? -Sounds good.
|
|
5:00
|
Sounds good.
|
|
5:01
|
[rabbi] …their children to bed…
|
|
5:03
|
[mother sighs]
|
|
5:07
|
Thanks for that. I appreciate it.
|
|
5:11
|
You look like a dad who lost his kid at Coachella.
|
|
5:15
|
You look like the principal of a Hebrew school version of Hogwarts.
|
|
5:20
|
You look like a young Hulk Hogan.
|
|
5:22
|
I have a question. What do you and the rabbi talk about in the car
|
|
5:26
|
on the way to the rabbinical witch outlet store?
|
|
5:31
|
Is it a lot of music? Or is there heavy conversation?
|
|
5:34
|
[hip-hop music playing]
|
|
5:36
|
♪ Maybe sometime… ♪
|
|
5:39
|
[chattering]
|
|
5:42
|
[Ezra] Hi.
|
|
5:44
|
-Ezra! [laughs] -[Ezra] Hey, how are ya?
|
|
5:46
|
-How are ya? -How old are you?
|
|
5:48
|
I'm… I'm 35 now.
|
|
5:49
|
Got a girlfriend?
|
|
5:51
|
No.
|
|
5:52
|
You say that so cavalier, like it's a bad thing.
|
|
5:55
|
You don't like getting pussy?
|
|
5:57
|
Well, hearing the word pussy come out of your mouth
|
|
6:00
|
does make me question whether or not I like it.
|
|
6:02
|
It's 2022!
|
|
6:03
|
Maybe the kid enjoys smoking the Hebrew Nationals.
|
|
6:07
|
I know you're trying to be progressive, but it's coming off crazy homophobic.
|
|
6:10
|
But it's… it's good to see you. And, uh, stay… stay alive.
|
|
6:15
|
-[man] Hey, hey, bud, bud. -Hey, Doc.
|
|
6:17
|
Hi, how's your penis?
|
|
6:19
|
Uh, I think it's… I think it's good.
|
|
6:21
|
-Yeah, uh, listen, uh, come with me. -I think--
|
|
6:24
|
Let's go to the bathroom, and, uh, we'll take a look, okay?
|
|
6:28
|
-I'm good. -No, no, it's fine. It's fine.
|
|
6:30
|
Don't… don't worry. Uh, it's on the house.
|
|
6:33
|
There's not gonna be a charge.
|
|
6:35
|
-No, it's not the price that concerns me. -Oh.
|
|
6:37
|
-It's more the concept. -I see.
|
|
6:39
|
-You sure? We can go-- -[grandmother] Doctor!
|
|
6:42
|
My teeth are getting crooked again.
|
|
6:44
|
[doctor] Uh-huh. If you open your mouth real wide.
|
|
6:46
|
-[mother] Ezzy. -[Ezra] Uh-huh.
|
|
6:48
|
I want you to be chill right now.
|
|
6:50
|
-But Kim Glassman is over there. -Mm-hmm.
|
|
6:53
|
And she is totally checking you out.
|
|
6:55
|
-Right now, okay? -Uh-huh.
|
|
6:57
|
And she just completed her doctorate at Harvard,
|
|
7:00
|
and she is crazy lit.
|
|
7:03
|
Right over there. You see her?
|
|
7:04
|
Yeah, she just-- and she saw you point at her.
|
|
7:06
|
-She didn't see. -[Ezra] Yeah, she 100% percent saw.
|
|
7:10
|
She's got it here, here, the whole nine yards.
|
|
7:12
|
Yeah, you like her body and her mind.
|
|
7:14
|
-I do. I do. -Okay.
|
|
7:16
|
Yeah, I think, um, my old orthodontist
|
|
7:18
|
just did some really weird sexual shit with me just now.
|
|
7:22
|
Who? Oh, Dr. Green?
|
|
7:23
|
-Yeah, Dr. Green. -Oh, yeah, he's in a lot of trouble.
|
|
7:26
|
-He's in trouble? -Yeah, he's in a lot of trouble.
|
|
7:29
|
-Yeah. -Okay, so that's like a thing?
|
|
7:31
|
[inhales] Uh, well, he hasn't been convicted.
|
|
7:34
|
Totally. In the four seconds I spoke with him,
|
|
7:35
|
he tried to pull me in the bathroom and look at my dick,
|
|
7:38
|
so I'm just gonna say I might support the accusers on this one.
|
|
7:41
|
I will say that there is a legal system,
|
|
7:42
|
and you have to have respect for the legal system, Ezzy.
|
|
7:45
|
-Okay. -Yeah.
|
|
7:46
|
You're backing him on this one. All right, okay.
|
|
7:48
|
Well, you know…
|
|
7:50
|
Innocent until proven guilty. I believe in that. I'm sure you do too.
|
|
7:53
|
-Correct, and I think I'm gonna bounce. -Right?
|
|
7:55
|
-This has been a lot for one Yom Kippur. -Honey. I love you.
|
|
7:57
|
-I love you. You look great. Okay. -I love my baby boy.
|
|
8:00
|
♪ Feeling like I'm floating to the ceiling Is it magic? ♪
|
|
8:03
|
♪ Baby, tell me why you disappearing This is magic ♪
|
|
8:05
|
♪ I won't ever tell 'em how I did it It was magic ♪
|
|
8:08
|
♪ Can you imagine? ♪
|
|
8:10
|
♪ Money in the mattress Love the way I stack it ♪
|
|
8:12
|
♪ I can make it rain blue… ♪
|
|
8:14
|
So, um, your mom says you work in finance?
|
|
8:16
|
Yes, I'm a broker.
|
|
8:18
|
Well, that's, like, gotta be so exciting, working with so much money all the time.
|
|
8:22
|
Yeah, it's not really my dream job.
|
|
8:25
|
Well, what is?
|
|
8:27
|
You're gonna laugh if I tell you.
|
|
8:28
|
-[laughs] -Oh, God.
|
|
8:30
|
You're not, like, a Reiki instructor, are you?
|
|
8:32
|
No. No, my homie and I, we have a podcast.
|
|
8:35
|
[laughing]
|
|
8:37
|
[clears throat] Seriously?
|
|
8:40
|
Yeah, yeah.
|
|
8:42
|
Well, what's it about?
|
|
8:45
|
The culture.
|
|
8:46
|
What culture?
|
|
8:48
|
You know, the culture.
|
|
8:49
|
Music, fashion, sports.
|
|
8:53
|
I mean, you're a Jew from West LA. What do you know about the culture?
|
|
8:56
|
Maybe deli culture, but… [laughs]
|
|
8:58
|
Hmm. [chuckles]
|
|
8:59
|
-[continues laughing] -Mm-hmm.
|
|
9:03
|
[slurps]
|
|
9:05
|
That's a good one.
|
|
9:08
|
Honestly, I'm starting to think
|
|
9:10
|
I'm never gonna meet a woman who understands me.
|
|
9:12
|
Bruh, you have got to stop being so thirsty, man.
|
|
9:16
|
It's disgusting!
|
|
9:17
|
I don't think I've heard of a man ever
|
|
9:19
|
who wanted to be in a relationship so badly besides Drake.
|
|
9:21
|
And I'm talking Views Drake.
|
|
9:23
|
I feel like Views Drake.
|
|
9:25
|
I feel like I'm alone on a building in Toronto
|
|
9:27
|
dangling my legs off,
|
|
9:28
|
wondering what it's like to feel companionship.
|
|
9:30
|
That's the space I'm in.
|
|
9:31
|
Well, I need you to dig deep down in that little Jewish body of yours
|
|
9:34
|
and pull out CLB Drake, okay?
|
|
9:36
|
Certified Lover Boy energy all through here.
|
|
9:38
|
I don't have Certified Lover Boy energy, Drake energy right now.
|
|
9:41
|
I just don't. I'm… I'm literally… I'm literally Take Care Drake.
|
|
9:46
|
I'm at an Italian restaurant by myself
|
|
9:48
|
with a bunch of chains, drinking Manischewitz out of a goblet
|
|
9:51
|
and wondering when the fuck is it my turn
|
|
9:53
|
to feel, like, deep happiness and connection.
|
|
9:55
|
And if I'm being honest about our friendship,
|
|
9:58
|
I feel like you're being a bit Pusha T right now towards me.
|
|
10:01
|
And I need you to be more Future to me.
|
|
10:02
|
I need a collaboration instead of a diss.
|
|
10:05
|
Well, maybe your ass needs a bully right now, bro.
|
|
10:07
|
Someone to push you around.
|
|
10:09
|
You're not even giving me Take Care Drake.
|
|
10:11
|
You're giving me "Houstatlantavegas" Drake.
|
|
10:13
|
I'm talking crying over strippers, no beard,
|
|
10:16
|
big upper lip.
|
|
10:17
|
Get it together, dawg.
|
|
10:21
|
You're right, I'm…
|
|
10:23
|
I need to be more CLB Drake.
|
|
10:26
|
[Mo] You'll be all right.
|
|
10:27
|
Just gotta find that person, You know what I mean?
|
|
10:29
|
Like, you need a shorty who surfs, but also can Milly Rock.
|
|
10:32
|
[hip-hop music playing] ♪ Doesn't mean we shouldn't try… ♪
|
|
10:36
|
-Can I help you with that? -[scoffs] Oh, my God. No, I'm good.
|
|
10:39
|
Come on, why are you acting like this? I feel like you blocked me.
|
|
10:42
|
Um, I didn't block you, okay? I don't do weird shit like that.
|
|
10:46
|
-Well, did you change your phone number? -[sighs] I did.
|
|
10:49
|
Yo, you don't think that's weird?
|
|
10:51
|
Chris, do you wanna know why we really just don't work out together?
|
|
10:54
|
Yeah, I'm… I'm really, really curious.
|
|
10:57
|
'Cause you don't know how to keep it real.
|
|
10:59
|
You just say whatever you think I wanna hear,
|
|
11:01
|
and it feels fake.
|
|
11:03
|
And I don't really feel seen by you in any way.
|
|
11:06
|
[scoffs] All I do is see you, girl.
|
|
11:08
|
I'm always on your social media. I'm staring at you right now.
|
|
11:12
|
You know what? It's like James Baldwin said.
|
|
11:15
|
"The most dangerous creation of any society
|
|
11:18
|
is the man who has nothing to lose."
|
|
11:20
|
I don't have shit to lose 'cause I already lost you.
|
|
11:23
|
[sighs] All right, gimme your phone.
|
|
11:25
|
Girl, you had me out here sweating.
|
|
11:28
|
It's so crazy because my dad loves James Baldwin,
|
|
11:33
|
and that is, like, one of his favorite quotes.
|
|
11:35
|
And here's a text message from my dad to you,
|
|
11:39
|
telling you to tell me the same shit.
|
|
11:40
|
Your father and I are in a book club together.
|
|
11:43
|
-I don't-- -[woman] Peace.
|
|
11:44
|
-Bye, Chris. -It's an information exchange.
|
|
11:46
|
-[woman] Stay away from my house. -We put each other onto different authors.
|
|
11:49
|
[engine turns over]
|
|
11:50
|
-Ra-Ra. -[woman] Stop calling me that!
|
|
11:52
|
-[Chris] Ra-- -[woman] It's so weird.
|
|
11:54
|
-[hip-hop music playing] -[vocalizing]
|
|
12:02
|
[men and women chattering]
|
|
12:07
|
[man] My mom just bought some last night.
|
|
12:10
|
[laughs] Here he is. Biggest swinging dick in the West!
|
|
12:13
|
[Ezra] There he is.
|
|
12:14
|
Got his-- You have a big swinging penis yourself there, my man.
|
|
12:23
|
The boss man.
|
|
12:24
|
You made that exchange weird, Ezra.
|
|
12:27
|
Goddamn it, all right. What's done is done, right?
|
|
12:29
|
I'm… I'm not good with greetings, so…
|
|
12:31
|
Just throw back a "hey."
|
|
12:33
|
-Hey. -Grease the wheel and say, "Hey."
|
|
12:35
|
-Swing it up. -[boss] "Hey, boss."
|
|
12:36
|
-Hey, boss. -"Champ. Killer."
|
|
12:38
|
"Dude." Not dude.
|
|
12:39
|
Big dick boss.
|
|
12:41
|
Or whatever you wanna say.
|
|
12:43
|
"Here he is, biggest swinging dick in the West."
|
|
12:46
|
There we go. You have a big penis.
|
|
12:48
|
-Fuck, dude, I'm sorry. -I'm not even looking for a shake.
|
|
12:50
|
You're belaboring a greeting.
|
|
12:52
|
Right.
|
|
12:53
|
What if I said "great fucking weather" to you, what would you say?
|
|
12:56
|
The weather's great for you too.
|
|
12:58
|
You would say that?
|
|
13:00
|
I don't know, I--
|
|
13:01
|
Forget it. Just… Just pick up the phone, come on.
|
|
13:04
|
-I understand. Got it. -We're burning time. Come on.
|
|
13:06
|
-Pick it up. -Let's go. Let's sell some stuff.
|
|
13:07
|
You're the man.
|
|
13:09
|
-[boss] Giddyup. -Let's go, baby.
|
|
13:11
|
Money, money, money, baby.
|
|
13:13
|
["Gold Fronts" by Fousheé playing] ♪ They don't make enough paper… ♪
|
|
13:19
|
[engine revs]
|
|
13:20
|
-[GPS] Make a complete U-turn. -[tires screech]
|
|
13:22
|
Then a sharp left turn, then another U-turn.
|
|
13:25
|
What? [scoffs]
|
|
13:27
|
♪ They can't take my gold fronts They can't take… ♪
|
|
13:29
|
[GPS] Make a complete U-turn, then a sharp left turn.
|
|
13:33
|
-Then another U-turn. -What the fuck!
|
|
13:35
|
♪ That I just rolled up ♪
|
|
13:36
|
♪ They can't take my gold blunt Can't tape my bullet holes up ♪
|
|
13:40
|
♪ Can't take my close-up They can't break my hoes up… ♪
|
|
13:43
|
-[GPS] Make a complete U-turn, then-- -[screaming]
|
|
13:46
|
-What the fuck! What are you doing? -Get the fuck out!
|
|
13:48
|
-Get out! Help! I'm being attacked! -What?
|
|
13:50
|
-You're attacking me! Stop! Stop! -Get out!
|
|
13:52
|
-Please, relax! Fine, okay! -[whimpers]
|
|
13:54
|
But you're not getting five stars. This is fucked up.
|
|
13:57
|
Fuck you. I'm not no Uber driver.
|
|
14:01
|
You're not?
|
|
14:02
|
No, I'm not. I'm on my way to work, weirdo.
|
|
14:04
|
-[GPS] Make a complete U-turn… -[sighs] Oh, shit.
|
|
14:07
|
I am so sorry.
|
|
14:08
|
No, you're not.
|
|
14:09
|
You saw a Black woman in an inexpensive car
|
|
14:12
|
and thought it was your God-given white right
|
|
14:15
|
to get in my backseat and tell me where to go.
|
|
14:17
|
It's a tale as old as time with your racist ass. Get out!
|
|
14:21
|
I know this seems like a racism.
|
|
14:24
|
-[scoffs] -But it's not.
|
|
14:25
|
My… My Uber driver is a Black woman who drives a Mini Cooper.
|
|
14:29
|
Her name is Hyacinth Ajanlekoko…
|
|
14:33
|
-Oh, wow. -Butatembe.
|
|
14:34
|
-So… -Okay.
|
|
14:35
|
So I guess Hyacinth-whatever looks like me since we all look alike.
|
|
14:40
|
I mean, honestly, fucking you guys are twins.
|
|
14:46
|
[woman] Oh, my God, wait. She really does look like me.
|
|
14:49
|
Yeah, this is like a 23 and Me situation.
|
|
14:51
|
Like, I wanna introduce you guys.
|
|
14:53
|
-Okay… -You're better looking for sure.
|
|
14:55
|
Sir, can you get out of my car, please? Thank you.
|
|
14:58
|
Look, look, look. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
|
|
15:02
|
[chuckles] This was insane.
|
|
15:04
|
Let me make it up to you. I know my way around Century City.
|
|
15:08
|
Let me get you where you're going.
|
|
15:10
|
Who said I was lost?
|
|
15:11
|
[GPS] Make a complete U-turn, then a sharp left turn,
|
|
15:15
|
then another U-turn.
|
|
15:18
|
-Look, okay, but can you hurry up? -[chuckles]
|
|
15:20
|
Because I really cannot be late to work, for real.
|
|
15:22
|
[Ezra] Of course.
|
|
15:23
|
-Just make a right at the light. -Okay.
|
|
15:25
|
This ain't no Driving Miss Daisy shit, okay?
|
|
15:27
|
-Okay. -[woman] Don't kill me.
|
|
15:29
|
[Ezra] I'm not gonna kill you. Please don't kill me.
|
|
15:31
|
-[woman] I'm not. -[Ezra] You're the one who beat me.
|
|
15:33
|
[woman] I don't know you. Shit.
|
|
15:35
|
[Ezra] My name is Ezra. What is your name?
|
|
15:37
|
[woman] Amira.
|
|
15:38
|
["Last Time That I Checc'd" by Nipsey Hussle playing]
|
|
15:41
|
♪ It was no smut on my rep Last time that I checked ♪
|
|
15:44
|
♪ I was selling zones in the set ♪
|
|
15:45
|
♪ Make a quarter mil no sweat Last time that I checked ♪
|
|
15:49
|
♪ I'm the street's voice out West Legendary self-made progress ♪
|
|
15:52
|
♪ Last time that I checked ♪
|
|
15:54
|
♪ First you get the money Last time that I checked ♪
|
|
15:56
|
[man] Who's Ezra?
|
|
15:57
|
Hello. Dang, why y'all up in my business?
|
|
16:00
|
[man] Why's your phone all up in my business?
|
|
16:02
|
Ezra is somebody I met that I'm going to lunch with.
|
|
16:06
|
What kind of name is Ezra?
|
|
16:08
|
Is he like a third-generation civil rights activist
|
|
16:11
|
or keeping-the-peace ass nigga?
|
|
16:14
|
[chuckles] No, he's… he's white.
|
|
16:18
|
He's white?
|
|
16:20
|
-Nigga! -Shut up!
|
|
16:22
|
I'm sorry. Just that's new for you.
|
|
16:24
|
-I know. -Sounds interesting.
|
|
16:27
|
Well, first of all, you know, don't let Akbar find out about that. Jesus.
|
|
16:31
|
Well, for your information,
|
|
16:32
|
I don't date based off of Daddy's approval, okay? I'm grown.
|
|
16:36
|
["The Payback" by James Brown playing]
|
|
16:38
|
♪ Revenge ♪
|
|
16:41
|
♪ I'm mad! ♪
|
|
16:42
|
♪ You get down with my girlfriend, huh ♪
|
|
16:46
|
♪ That ain't right… ♪
|
|
16:49
|
[man] Okay, you're not tough.
|
|
16:52
|
Oh, hi, Daddy!
|
|
16:53
|
-What's up? -Gimme a kiss.
|
|
16:56
|
What's going on, boy?
|
|
16:58
|
-Same thing. -Yeah.
|
|
17:03
|
Hey, now, is it my imagination,
|
|
17:05
|
or are Black folks' hair getting curlier and curlier?
|
|
17:08
|
Look. Look at everybody's hair.
|
|
17:10
|
Everybody in the place is all wavy.
|
|
17:13
|
Except for this nigga.
|
|
17:16
|
I actually have the nappiest hair in this place.
|
|
17:18
|
-[Amira clicks tongue] -And I wear it proudly.
|
|
17:20
|
-[chuckling] -How am I the darkest person in the room?
|
|
17:24
|
There's not one tar-black nigga in this whole room.
|
|
17:27
|
And I mean, back in the day,
|
|
17:28
|
that was what you saw the most when you went in a room.
|
|
17:31
|
It was, you know, niggas everywhere. Now you got…
|
|
17:33
|
Eventually everybody gonna be looking like Bruno Mars.
|
|
17:37
|
A lot sooner than you think.
|
|
17:39
|
What that mean?
|
|
17:40
|
Gonna tell him about your date, Amira?
|
|
17:43
|
-Shut up, Omar. -[Omar] Oh, okay.
|
|
17:46
|
What you talking about? Chris?
|
|
17:48
|
Oh, no, Daddy, not Chris.
|
|
17:50
|
-No, not Chris. -Not Chris.
|
|
17:52
|
He's a Muslim, right?
|
|
17:54
|
Um, yes. He's African.
|
|
17:56
|
-He's African. -[Amira] He's definitely African.
|
|
17:59
|
And, um, he's Muslim. I think so.
|
|
18:01
|
Is he Sunni or Nation?
|
|
18:03
|
S-Sunni.
|
|
18:05
|
Watch out for those brothers. Yeah, they like Lakers fans.
|
|
18:08
|
Don't know shit about basketball, but love to be all up at Staples,
|
|
18:11
|
looking around at everybody, trying to be seen.
|
|
18:13
|
Isn't the Nation more like Laker fans,
|
|
18:15
|
'cause they're the ones who just discovered the religion?
|
|
18:18
|
Shut up, stupid.
|
|
18:20
|
What you drinking?
|
|
18:21
|
A tropical banana whip with bee pollen. It's good.
|
|
18:24
|
Bee pollen? Why you need bee pollen?
|
|
18:26
|
Bee pollen? What, they ain't have no butterfly dust?
|
|
18:29
|
You know, I'm starting to hate the world more and more each day.
|
|
18:31
|
You know, this place used to be our thing.
|
|
18:34
|
Then white folks figured out
|
|
18:36
|
that not only did Magic Johnson and Dr. Sebi figure out how to cure AIDS,
|
|
18:40
|
but we also have delicious patties and smoothies.
|
|
18:42
|
Yeah, but, like, shouldn't we be happy that they're patronizing our business?
|
|
18:45
|
But at what cost, Amira?
|
|
18:47
|
Uh, financial freedom, cultural empowerment, market expansion.
|
|
18:51
|
You know what? Somebody gonna bust your teeth out one day.
|
|
18:54
|
[Amira chuckles]
|
|
18:56
|
You just make sure you pray with this guy.
|
|
18:58
|
That's how I met your mother.
|
|
19:00
|
We prayed together, and we knew we was meant for each other.
|
|
19:02
|
-[Amira] Mm-mm. -Didn't you meet Mom at Pep Boys?
|
|
19:04
|
Trying to return a half used bottle of Fix-a-Flat?
|
|
19:06
|
No, I met your mother,
|
|
19:08
|
and we fell in love through our mutual love of God and prayer.
|
|
19:11
|
-[Amira] Hmm. -[father] I'm always telling y'all.
|
|
19:13
|
If you get your beliefs in line, your heart's gonna follow.
|
|
19:17
|
Hmm.
|
|
19:20
|
So I just imagined the Pep Boys thing?
|
|
19:22
|
What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
|
|
19:24
|
["Classic" by Meek Mill playing] ♪ Meek Milly's coming, Daddy ♪
|
|
19:27
|
♪ Hey! Spitting all this hot shit Every single bar cool ♪
|
|
19:31
|
♪ Diamonds in the Rollie face Animated cartoon ♪
|
|
19:33
|
♪ Call me Meek Milly I don't play that shit ♪
|
|
19:35
|
-♪ Right ♪ -♪ I'm gonna rock this ball, man ♪
|
|
19:37
|
♪ Like I make that shit ♪
|
|
19:39
|
♪ I've been front row Fashion Week Looking like I'm in the show ♪
|
|
19:42
|
♪ Sitting in the foreign leather… ♪
|
|
19:43
|
[chuckles] Hold up. You're dating a "Black girl" Black girl?
|
|
19:47
|
I mean, I wouldn't put it that way.
|
|
19:50
|
Yo, shut-- Bro, you bagged a real one?
|
|
19:54
|
This is crazy.
|
|
19:56
|
Wait a minute though. This is way out of your league.
|
|
19:58
|
If this girl is what you say she is,
|
|
20:00
|
then I'm pretty sure she smells like cocoa butter and expectations, bro.
|
|
20:03
|
-You may wanna slow down. -What do you mean?
|
|
20:05
|
[Mo scoffs] I'm just saying, I hope no one ends up dead.
|
|
20:08
|
Dead?
|
|
20:10
|
[scoffs] Yeah, dawg.
|
|
20:11
|
In this social climate,
|
|
20:13
|
with this much racial intensity going on in this country now,
|
|
20:16
|
you chose to pull a move like that?
|
|
20:18
|
Bold, bro. Real bold.
|
|
20:21
|
I'm not pulling anything.
|
|
20:23
|
This isn't 'cause it's, like, a hot new thing.
|
|
20:24
|
I'm not talking about a tie-dye sweatsuit. I'm talking about a person.
|
|
20:28
|
A woman who I met, who I found interesting,
|
|
20:30
|
who's different than the other women that I know, so I asked her out. Who cares?
|
|
20:35
|
Yo, please tell me you didn't buy a tie-dye sweatsuit.
|
|
20:38
|
Thank you.
|
|
20:42
|
-[Amira clears throat] -[sighs]
|
|
20:44
|
You look great.
|
|
20:46
|
Oh, thank you.
|
|
20:47
|
I like your fit.
|
|
20:49
|
Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself.
|
|
20:55
|
Are those Gucci slides?
|
|
20:57
|
Yeah. Why? Are you trying to clown?
|
|
20:59
|
No, I'm not trying to clown. No, not at all. I think they're awesome.
|
|
21:04
|
And I actually think they're the perfect shoe for a first date.
|
|
21:07
|
Oh, this is date?
|
|
21:09
|
Yeah. I mean, we're two adults,
|
|
21:13
|
at least one of us is interested in getting to know the other one,
|
|
21:16
|
meeting at a specific place at a designated time,
|
|
21:19
|
and I'm pretty sure if I asked Siri, "Siri, what is a date?"
|
|
21:22
|
That would be the exact bar she would spit back at me.
|
|
21:24
|
Bar? Okay.
|
|
21:25
|
[chuckles] All right, Ezra.
|
|
21:27
|
-Trying to cap me up. Brave. -[chuckles]
|
|
21:31
|
And I would never talk shit on your slides.
|
|
21:34
|
If you like something, you like it.
|
|
21:36
|
I don't think anybody should be put in a box ever.
|
|
21:43
|
That's real. I agree with you.
|
|
21:46
|
["Stay High" by Childish Gambino and Brittany Howard playing]
|
|
21:51
|
[indistinct chattering]
|
|
21:53
|
[laughing]
|
|
21:55
|
[Amira] …eats a blueberry with a damn fork.
|
|
21:57
|
[chattering continues]
|
|
21:59
|
♪ And we hustle all day, don't we? ♪
|
|
22:03
|
♪ Yes, we do ♪
|
|
22:04
|
♪ There comes a time ♪
|
|
22:08
|
♪ There comes a time ♪
|
|
22:12
|
♪ At night, where we come play… ♪
|
|
22:16
|
[chattering and laughing continue]
|
|
22:20
|
♪ Laughing, hoping… ♪
|
|
22:22
|
[laughing]
|
|
22:25
|
[laughing continues]
|
|
22:28
|
♪ I just wanna stay high… ♪
|
|
22:35
|
[chattering]
|
|
22:39
|
♪ With you ♪
|
|
22:42
|
♪ With you ♪
|
|
22:45
|
♪ With you ♪
|
|
22:48
|
♪ With you ♪
|
|
22:50
|
[Amira laughing] You know…
|
|
22:54
|
Oh, my God, it looks like a fort.
|
|
22:55
|
[Ezra] It's cute. You know what we're doing? We're being cute!
|
|
22:58
|
-[Amira laughs] We're being cute! Oh, God! -Yeah. [laughs]
|
|
23:01
|
-[Amira] You're crazy. -It's like a little tent.
|
|
23:03
|
[Amira] I've never done this before.
|
|
23:05
|
You've just never dated such a creative blanket architect before.
|
|
23:08
|
Never. I've never dated anybody so cute.
|
|
23:11
|
[Ezra] Yes, come on, isn't it fun?
|
|
23:13
|
It's like we're in our own little world.
|
|
23:15
|
It does feel like we are in our own little world.
|
|
23:19
|
Play some music. We need, like, a vibe.
|
|
23:22
|
-[Ezra] Yeah? -Mm-hmm.
|
|
23:25
|
Yeah. Any requests?
|
|
23:26
|
No, I trust you.
|
|
23:32
|
How about this?
|
|
23:34
|
["Best Part" by Daniel Caesar and H.E.R. playing]
|
|
23:40
|
Oh, I love this song.
|
|
23:44
|
You do?
|
|
23:45
|
[Amira] Mm-hmm.
|
|
23:48
|
♪ You don't know, babe ♪ [echoing]
|
|
23:52
|
♪ When you hold me ♪
|
|
23:55
|
♪ And kiss me slowly It's the sweetest thing ♪
|
|
24:01
|
♪ It's the sunrise ♪
|
|
24:05
|
♪ And those brown eyes, yes ♪
|
|
24:08
|
♪ You're the one that I desire ♪
|
|
24:14
|
♪ When we wake up… ♪
|
|
24:18
|
So look.
|
|
24:19
|
I just don't be having sex with just anyone,
|
|
24:22
|
so, whether you like it or not,
|
|
24:25
|
we kind of go together now.
|
|
24:29
|
Yeah, that's crazy. I was gonna say a similar kind of thing.
|
|
24:32
|
Maybe a little less junior high, a little more mature, but, uh…
|
|
24:36
|
Yeah. You're my boo, come on.
|
|
24:40
|
You already know.
|
|
24:41
|
-You're obsessed with me. -No!
|
|
24:43
|
I'm obsessed with you?
|
|
24:44
|
-Yeah. -Okay.
|
|
24:46
|
I see you leaving stuff around here.
|
|
24:48
|
Judaism swagger.
|
|
24:49
|
It's such a turn-on.
|
|
24:51
|
-I just want a bagel and lox right now. -[laughing]
|
|
24:53
|
I love you so much!
|
|
24:56
|
So much!
|
|
24:57
|
-I can't even restrain you! -[laughing]
|
|
25:00
|
Shut up.
|
|
25:02
|
♪ Oh, you're the best part ♪
|
|
25:06
|
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! You're the best part ♪
|
|
25:11
|
I think I'm a little nervous.
|
|
25:12
|
No, don't be nervous. I'm nervous.
|
|
25:14
|
Why are you nervous?
|
|
25:16
|
'Cause my family's crazy.
|
|
25:17
|
Everybody's family's crazy.
|
|
25:19
|
-No. They're nuts. -[doorbell rings]
|
|
25:22
|
-[laughing] Hello! Oh! -[Ezra] Hey, Mom. How are you?
|
|
25:27
|
-[laughs] -Hi.
|
|
25:28
|
-Mom, this is Amira. -[gasps]
|
|
25:29
|
Amira, this is my mom Shelley.
|
|
25:31
|
Hi, Miss Shelley.
|
|
25:32
|
-It's so nice to meet you. -Oh. Miss Shelley.
|
|
25:35
|
Oh, my mom would kill me if I didn't address you in that way.
|
|
25:38
|
Oh, absolutely. Whatever makes you comfortable is fine with me.
|
|
25:41
|
Oh, my gosh, you are so beautiful.
|
|
25:44
|
I love your hair. I love your fingernails.
|
|
25:47
|
Look at these rings!
|
|
25:49
|
-I love them. [chuckles] -Thank you.
|
|
25:51
|
-Thank you. -[gasps] Look at that, your name.
|
|
25:53
|
What about her earlobes and the bottom of her feet?
|
|
25:55
|
-Oh, shut up. He loves to give me shit. -[Amira laughs]
|
|
25:57
|
But I think your earlobes are good too.
|
|
25:59
|
-[laughs] I do. Come in. Come in. Come in. -[laughs]
|
|
26:01
|
-[Shelley] Isn't this fun? -Yeah, good stuff.
|
|
26:03
|
Honey, honey, come and meet Amira.
|
|
26:07
|
I hope I'm saying that right. Amira.
|
|
26:09
|
-Yeah. Amira. It's just Amira. -Amira. Arnold.
|
|
26:11
|
Come in, come in, come in and sit.
|
|
26:13
|
-Uh, Amira. Yes! -[Amira] Yeah.
|
|
26:15
|
[Shelley] We've got cheese and crackers, but if you need something else,
|
|
26:19
|
I can have Lupita run to Whole Foods. Don't worry.
|
|
26:22
|
She's going anyway because she's picking up my dry cleaning from Browns.
|
|
26:24
|
She's, uh, she's from Guatemala.
|
|
26:27
|
[splutters] She, uh, Lupita.
|
|
26:30
|
Uh, but, you know, we're like sisters, actually.
|
|
26:33
|
She's literally like family.
|
|
26:35
|
I mean, it's not even like work for her, really.
|
|
26:39
|
[Amira chuckles]
|
|
26:41
|
I'm pretty sure it's like work for her.
|
|
26:42
|
I don't think Lupita's coming all the way down here just, uh, pro bono,
|
|
26:46
|
no money exchange, you know.
|
|
26:48
|
-[laughs] Oh, come on. -[Ezra] I know. I'm just saying.
|
|
26:51
|
-[Shelley] No, no, I get it, yeah, but-- -Yeah.
|
|
26:53
|
Thank you, but that's not necessary.
|
|
26:55
|
-This looks nice. -[mouths]
|
|
26:56
|
-Thank you. [chuckles] -[Shelley] Oh, fabulous.
|
|
26:58
|
So, I understand you're a stylist.
|
|
27:01
|
Yeah, kind of, I'm, um-- I'm a costume designer.
|
|
27:04
|
-But that's kind of like styling. -[both] Oh.
|
|
27:06
|
-Okay. -And she has the best style.
|
|
27:08
|
[laughing] Yes.
|
|
27:09
|
[Shelley] No, that I can tell, yes.
|
|
27:11
|
Yeah, I actually do, uh, a little styling myself.
|
|
27:14
|
-[Amira] Really? -[Shelley] Yeah.
|
|
27:16
|
Oh, Ezra never said anything to me about that.
|
|
27:18
|
I know, 'cause it's 100% not true. It's the first time hearing of it, so…
|
|
27:22
|
No, no. No, no. I mean, on me and Dad-- or on Arnold.
|
|
27:27
|
-And a few of our friends, yeah. -Okay.
|
|
27:29
|
Yeah, I… I audit their closets.
|
|
27:32
|
Oh, um, how do you do that?
|
|
27:35
|
Oh, uh, like, curate their clothes--
|
|
27:37
|
Prune.
|
|
27:38
|
[Shelley] Exactly. Yeah, and also give away things to shelters.
|
|
27:41
|
I'm just known as someone with good taste.
|
|
27:44
|
And, I mean, I'm not trying to brag. That sounds so braggy.
|
|
27:48
|
[laughing]
|
|
27:50
|
So, um, Amira, where are you from?
|
|
27:54
|
-[Amira] Here. -Oh.
|
|
27:55
|
Well, Baldwin Hills via Inglewood.
|
|
27:58
|
Okay. Baldwin Hills.
|
|
28:01
|
Oh, that's something, yeah.
|
|
28:02
|
I understand that Mike…
|
|
28:05
|
uh, Magic Johnson has done a lot of wonderful things.
|
|
28:08
|
[Arnold] Magic. What a ballplayer.
|
|
28:10
|
Boyish enthusiasm he played with.
|
|
28:12
|
-Oh, yeah. -The smile!
|
|
28:13
|
-[Shelley] Yeah, he has a marvelous smile. -[Arnold] Yeah.
|
|
28:15
|
[Shelley] Yeah. I saw him once at Gelson's.
|
|
28:18
|
-He's really tall. -[exhales]
|
|
28:20
|
Actually, we had an opportunity to buy there about--
|
|
28:23
|
-It was 15 years ago, but… [scoffs] -[groans] Oh, yeah.
|
|
28:26
|
-…Arnold wouldn't go for it. -[imitates gunshot]
|
|
28:28
|
Yeah, it's a shame you missed out on that first wave of early gentrification.
|
|
28:31
|
You could've screwed a lot of people out of their property value.
|
|
28:34
|
[chuckles] Okay, so this is our lovely and very opinionated daughter Liza.
|
|
28:38
|
Come and meet your brother's new girlfriend.
|
|
28:40
|
Hi.
|
|
28:42
|
Hi. [chuckles]
|
|
28:44
|
I mean,
|
|
28:46
|
hey.
|
|
28:47
|
Okay.
|
|
28:48
|
[scoffs] Pull over.
|
|
28:49
|
[laughing]
|
|
28:51
|
-She's spoken for. [chuckles] -[Amira chuckles]
|
|
28:53
|
Um, Liza's gay. She's queer. She's lesbian.
|
|
28:56
|
-L-G-B-T-Q. -[Shelley] You got it all.
|
|
29:00
|
-Which we love and accept. -[Arnold] Yes.
|
|
29:02
|
"Because that is our vibe."
|
|
29:04
|
"That's how we roll." [laughs]
|
|
29:06
|
I think she understands. Is she doing the air quote thing again?
|
|
29:10
|
Yeah, she's just warming up.
|
|
29:11
|
[laughs]
|
|
29:12
|
Oh, I… I really like your glasses. Those are cool.
|
|
29:15
|
Oh, thanks. I actually made them out of recycled cans of Mountain Dew.
|
|
29:19
|
Oh, really?
|
|
29:20
|
I could easily make you a pair. You could have-- they're prescription--
|
|
29:23
|
Okay, so I wanna put this out to the group and see how it lands.
|
|
29:28
|
Oh, shit.
|
|
29:29
|
-I think the police… -Okay!
|
|
29:32
|
…are and always have been, by the way,
|
|
29:36
|
fucked up towards Black people.
|
|
29:38
|
And I, for one, hate it.
|
|
29:40
|
-To be fair, it's an impossible job. -Dad.
|
|
29:43
|
Okay, Mom, I'm gonna help you in the kitchen.
|
|
29:44
|
-[Shelley] What? -[Ezra] Now.
|
|
29:46
|
You've never offered to help with anything in your life.
|
|
29:48
|
We're gonna do it now.
|
|
29:49
|
-Know what else too? -Come on.
|
|
29:51
|
The National Anthem, I think everybody should kneel.
|
|
29:53
|
-[Ezra] Enough. Thank you. -[Shelley] No, I do. Really.
|
|
29:55
|
-Not just the players, in fact. -[Ezra] We're gonna go check this out now.
|
|
29:58
|
-[Shelley] What are you doing? -[Ezra] Thank you.
|
|
30:00
|
[chuckles]
|
|
30:03
|
I'm sorry about my mom.
|
|
30:04
|
-She's literally a moron. -I like your braids.
|
|
30:08
|
Thank you. [sighs]
|
|
30:09
|
Xzibit had braids.
|
|
30:11
|
Uh, yeah.
|
|
30:13
|
Remember that show Pimp My Ride? That was a blast. I loved that show.
|
|
30:16
|
He seemed like such a cool dude. Such a gentleman.
|
|
30:19
|
You ever bump into him at any of your showbiz things?
|
|
30:22
|
-No. -[Arnold] No?
|
|
30:25
|
-[groans] Is he still in the rap game? -Dad, stop.
|
|
30:28
|
-What? -Just, like, producing sound.
|
|
30:31
|
-I like X to the Z. What can I say? -[Liza] Dad.
|
|
30:34
|
-Over here right now. -What are you-- What's wrong with you?
|
|
30:37
|
Okay, can you just cool it
|
|
30:39
|
on everything you are doing and saying in, like, complete totality?
|
|
30:44
|
You are so rude and annoying.
|
|
30:46
|
-All right? Yes, you are. -[scoffs]
|
|
30:48
|
I am being me, and I am thriving.
|
|
30:51
|
And I have gotten through my entire life being me,
|
|
30:54
|
and I certainly don't need my son to tell me how to behave.
|
|
30:57
|
My God.
|
|
30:58
|
It's just with the police stuff and, like, Magic Johnson.
|
|
31:01
|
Like, you're talking to her like she's a Black person
|
|
31:05
|
and not my girlfriend who is a person.
|
|
31:07
|
-That's absurd. I said-- -Is it?
|
|
31:09
|
Yes, of course! I said, "to the group," okay?
|
|
31:12
|
I literally said, "I'm throwing this out to the whole group."
|
|
31:16
|
You weren't throwing it out to the group.
|
|
31:18
|
'Cause you weren't trying to hear Dad's perspective.
|
|
31:20
|
You never asked a question like that
|
|
31:22
|
in every dinner we've had for the past however many years.
|
|
31:25
|
-I talk about that a lot. -With who?
|
|
31:27
|
With all of my friends. With everybody I know. We are always--
|
|
31:30
|
Name one friend you talk about police brutality with.
|
|
31:33
|
Marilyn.
|
|
31:34
|
Uh, uh, Josephine…
|
|
31:35
|
You and Marilyn talk about police brutality?
|
|
31:37
|
Can't get enough of it.
|
|
31:39
|
-Can't get enough of that conversation. -I don't buy that.
|
|
31:41
|
It's a hot topic right now.
|
|
31:44
|
All right, look. Can we not do this right now?
|
|
31:47
|
Seriously.
|
|
31:48
|
This is about meeting that lovely woman out there.
|
|
31:53
|
And I gotta tell you something, I think she's absolutely wonderful.
|
|
31:59
|
-You do? -I do.
|
|
32:02
|
-And I've got a people sense, you know. -[whispers] No, you don't.
|
|
32:05
|
Anyway, I think she's wonderful.
|
|
32:08
|
She is.
|
|
32:12
|
What?
|
|
32:15
|
I am… I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
|
|
32:18
|
[gasps]
|
|
32:19
|
Oh, my God! Oh, my…
|
|
32:22
|
-[Ezra shushing] -[laughing]
|
|
32:24
|
I'm so excited.
|
|
32:27
|
[Ezra] Yeah.
|
|
32:28
|
-[exhales] -So you're okay with that?
|
|
32:30
|
Of course I'm okay with that.
|
|
32:31
|
Why wouldn't I be okay with that? [sniffles]
|
|
32:34
|
I don't know. Well, she's not Jewish.
|
|
32:36
|
Oh, Ezra, you're my baby boy.
|
|
32:42
|
And you found an amazing woman who makes you happy.
|
|
32:46
|
End of story.
|
|
32:52
|
I mean, would it be nice if she were Jewish? Sure.
|
|
32:55
|
Our people's numbers are dwindling.
|
|
32:57
|
-It would make your life easier. -[exhaling]
|
|
32:59
|
But… But this is great too!
|
|
33:01
|
Our family is growing in such a cool and hip and funky way, you know.
|
|
33:07
|
Oh, my God! I'm gonna have Black grand babies. [laughing]
|
|
33:10
|
Okay. Jesus Christ.
|
|
33:11
|
[gasps] We're a family of color.
|
|
33:13
|
-Mom. -We are the future now.
|
|
33:15
|
Mom, just, please, don't ever say that or think that again.
|
|
33:18
|
-What? -I know it's exciting, but…
|
|
33:21
|
-["Ordinary People" playing on piano] -[Arnold] ♪ This ain't the honeymoon… ♪
|
|
33:24
|
-[Ezra] Shh. -I know. I won't…
|
|
33:26
|
[Arnold] That was a while back.
|
|
33:28
|
-♪ Right in the thick of love ♪ -[Shelley gasps]
|
|
33:30
|
[Arnold] ♪ At times, we get sick of love ♪
|
|
33:32
|
It's true.
|
|
33:33
|
♪ Seems like we argue every day, uh! ♪
|
|
33:37
|
♪ I know I misbehaved And you made your mistakes ♪
|
|
33:42
|
♪ And we both ♪
|
|
33:43
|
-♪ Got some room left to grow ♪ -[mouths] What is happening?
|
|
33:45
|
So true.
|
|
33:47
|
♪ Though love sometimes hurts Well, I'll still put you first ♪
|
|
33:51
|
♪ But I think we should take it slow ♪
|
|
33:55
|
♪ We're just ordinary people ♪
|
|
33:58
|
That's the truth.
|
|
34:00
|
♪ We don't know which way to go ♪
|
|
34:03
|
Where?
|
|
34:04
|
-[sighs] -I'm so sorry.
|
|
34:05
|
-[mouths] It's okay. -♪ …it slow-whoa-whoa! ♪
|
|
34:11
|
-[Mo] Well, I'm happy for you, E. -[Ezra] Thank you.
|
|
34:13
|
Have you talked to her family yet?
|
|
34:15
|
Uh, no.
|
|
34:16
|
Do you plan to?
|
|
34:18
|
Yeah, just haven't had the chance to meet them.
|
|
34:21
|
So you're telling me you're about to ask their only adult daughter
|
|
34:24
|
to marry you with this baby-ass ring,
|
|
34:27
|
and you haven't even met her parents?
|
|
34:29
|
Bro. [scoffs]
|
|
34:30
|
White dudes really do be out here living by their own code.
|
|
34:33
|
You're gonna have to make up a story or something for this, bro.
|
|
34:36
|
Yeah, it is a small ring.
|
|
34:38
|
You think her family will judge me and stuff?
|
|
34:40
|
I'm judging you, nigga. This is terrible.
|
|
34:43
|
Yeah, I thought of that. I thought of that.
|
|
34:45
|
I'm just gonna be like, "It's my grandma's Holocaust ring."
|
|
34:48
|
-That's good. That's great. -I mean, game over.
|
|
34:50
|
They can't say shit. Once you drop the Holocaust, they're like…
|
|
34:54
|
But you gotta get it out this box.
|
|
34:55
|
-It's not a Holocaust box. -You're right.
|
|
34:57
|
Yeah, you wanna put it in, like, a satchel, dirty it up.
|
|
34:59
|
-Yeah. -I think you should Holocaust it down.
|
|
35:02
|
Yeah, we gotta Holocaust it down, for sure.
|
|
35:04
|
-Indeed. -Yeah. All right, that's a good call.
|
|
35:06
|
-There's a plan. -Thank you, dude. I appreciate it.
|
|
35:08
|
["6 'n the Mornin'" by Ice-T playing]
|
|
35:10
|
♪ Fresh Adidas squeak Across the bathroom floor ♪
|
|
35:12
|
♪ Out my back window, a simple escape… ♪
|
|
35:15
|
It is so nice to meet you guys.
|
|
35:17
|
What's going on? Tell me about life.
|
|
35:19
|
How are you? How's work?
|
|
35:22
|
Talk to me.
|
|
35:24
|
Work… Work is fine.
|
|
35:26
|
Grinding. I know.
|
|
35:29
|
I know. I'm in the grind myself.
|
|
35:33
|
[mother chuckles]
|
|
35:39
|
So do you hang out in the hood all the time,
|
|
35:41
|
or do you just come up here for our food and women?
|
|
35:45
|
It's a valid question.
|
|
35:48
|
-It is. -[mother] Mm-hmm.
|
|
35:51
|
I guess I'm one of those guys who kind of goes wherever.
|
|
35:55
|
You go wherever?
|
|
35:56
|
Yeah, I'm kind of like a chameleon in that way, I guess.
|
|
35:59
|
You know, I'll pop into Marathon and grab a hoodie and some socks,
|
|
36:03
|
or, you know, go play ball at Langston Hughes Park
|
|
36:07
|
if there's a good run going,
|
|
36:08
|
and Roscoe's is obviously one of my go-to's.
|
|
36:10
|
I mean, the Carol C. Special. Come on! Where's our waiter?
|
|
36:14
|
I'm gonna go see if the waitperson's here
|
|
36:16
|
because I feel like we should get it,
|
|
36:18
|
'cause I think you guys deserve more than this.
|
|
36:25
|
This is your white granddaddy coming back to haunt me.
|
|
36:28
|
-What? -That nigga never liked me.
|
|
36:30
|
And it started off by him putting them strong ass genes in you
|
|
36:34
|
that lighten up the coffee in my babies.
|
|
36:36
|
-Akbar, you sound ridiculous. -Yeah.
|
|
36:38
|
And then he planted a poison pill in my little baby girl
|
|
36:40
|
and it has grown into this white boy that has invited us to lunch at Roscoe's.
|
|
36:44
|
Those children got beautiful cultural experiences
|
|
36:48
|
from those moments with my granddaddy, so please stop.
|
|
36:50
|
-What they got was confused, clearly. -They are not confused.
|
|
36:53
|
They are confused. You don't think this is confusion?
|
|
36:56
|
All I'mma tell you is we don't need to be arguing in front of the white boy, okay?
|
|
37:00
|
I'm not gonna change how I feel about this…
|
|
37:02
|
I'm saying what I wanna say,
|
|
37:04
|
and I don't give a fuck about this white boy.
|
|
37:06
|
I'm not asking you to do that.
|
|
37:08
|
Hey, gang.
|
|
37:09
|
[clears throat] I'm back. I spoke to the waitress,
|
|
37:12
|
and she was upset that I interrupted her smoke break.
|
|
37:17
|
Um, so,
|
|
37:20
|
you guys are probably wondering why I asked you to… to lunch.
|
|
37:25
|
It crossed my mind.
|
|
37:27
|
-Yeah, what the hell is this about? -[Ezra] Um…
|
|
37:31
|
I wanna… I wanna… I wanna go way back for a second.
|
|
37:34
|
I wanna go back to…
|
|
37:36
|
Well, let's go with Jesus,
|
|
37:37
|
'cause Jesus Christ was half Black, half Jewish, right?
|
|
37:40
|
Let's start with Jesus. Legend, right? So…
|
|
37:43
|
Jesus Christ, technically, I imagine, had mixed-race children,
|
|
37:48
|
which I think is… is great because mixed-race people are really awesome.
|
|
37:53
|
You know, you have, like, Mariah and Derek Jeter,
|
|
37:55
|
and then, of course, you have the GOAT. He was mixed race.
|
|
37:59
|
The GOAT?
|
|
38:00
|
The Greatest of All Time.
|
|
38:02
|
Yeah, I know what it means, but who are you referring to?
|
|
38:05
|
Our guy, the legend. Malcolm X.
|
|
38:08
|
-Our guy? -[Akbar laughs]
|
|
38:10
|
-Not-- the GOAT. Not… Not my guy. Mr. X. -[mother laughs]
|
|
38:13
|
And I'm saying that, like, he's mixed race
|
|
38:16
|
and then if Amira and I had a kid, that kid would be mixed race,
|
|
38:20
|
and it would be a very nice baby.
|
|
38:22
|
Maybe not as important as Malcolm X, but maybe. Maybe!
|
|
38:26
|
Maybe my son would be as important as Malcolm X.
|
|
38:29
|
I don't know 'cause I haven't--
|
|
38:31
|
And she's not pregnant. She's not pregnant.
|
|
38:34
|
Because we don't even do that much stuff
|
|
38:38
|
and when we do,
|
|
38:40
|
I… I am careful.
|
|
38:43
|
And she's not a prude.
|
|
38:44
|
She's gr-- really, she knows her way around it.
|
|
38:47
|
-Okay. -What I'm saying is I love your daughter!
|
|
38:51
|
I… I love her, and I would make a good husband.
|
|
38:57
|
What in the mother of--
|
|
38:59
|
I know I quoted Forrest Gump.
|
|
39:01
|
Yeah, you know what? I did quote Forrest Gump.
|
|
39:03
|
Because you know who Forrest's best friend was in the world?
|
|
39:06
|
Bubba.
|
|
39:08
|
-What? -And was Bubba Black and Forrest white?
|
|
39:12
|
You bet your fucking ass they were.
|
|
39:14
|
And… And you know what? It wasn't about race.
|
|
39:17
|
It was about shrimp and partnership, and they made it work.
|
|
39:21
|
And Amira and I have done a lot of the similar stuff
|
|
39:24
|
that Bubba and Forrest did together, and now we're here,
|
|
39:27
|
and I just wanna marry your daughter, if that's okay.
|
|
39:36
|
We never seen no fucking Forrest Gump.
|
|
39:38
|
[inhales]
|
|
39:41
|
-Ain't this about a bitch? -[exhales]
|
|
39:45
|
So it's not bad enough that y'all make me have to get a vaccine
|
|
39:48
|
so I can go into the casino.
|
|
39:50
|
-Now y'all coming after my kids? -[mother groans]
|
|
39:54
|
So you wanna marry my daughter?
|
|
39:58
|
Yes. Yes, I do.
|
|
40:03
|
Well, Ezra…
|
|
40:08
|
you can try.
|
|
40:12
|
-[knock on door] -No, that's him right now, Mama.
|
|
40:15
|
-Oh, okay, I'll call you back. -[phone beeps]
|
|
40:22
|
Hey, what's up?
|
|
40:24
|
I just got off the phone with my mom.
|
|
40:27
|
Oh, you… you did? Yeah, what… what did she have to say?
|
|
40:31
|
About…
|
|
40:33
|
Well, she just told me that you took her and my dad out to lunch.
|
|
40:36
|
It was a nightmare, okay? I totally blacked out. I fucked up.
|
|
40:39
|
I have no idea. I don't remember anything.
|
|
40:41
|
Well, lucky for you, my parents remember everything.
|
|
40:45
|
Why would you take my parents to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles
|
|
40:47
|
and without asking me?
|
|
40:50
|
I was taking a shot at something, okay? Just forget it.
|
|
40:54
|
Forget it? Oh, no, please, Ezra, keep going,
|
|
40:56
|
'cause I would love to know about this little brilliant plan of yours.
|
|
40:59
|
[exhales] You wouldn't understand, okay?
|
|
41:04
|
[sighs]
|
|
41:06
|
Oh, my God.
|
|
41:07
|
-[Ezra] I was gonna take your parents out… -Wait, oh, my God.
|
|
41:09
|
-We were gonna have a great time, -Oh, my God.
|
|
41:11
|
And then I was gonna ask their blessing,
|
|
41:13
|
and I had this whole cute proposal planned,
|
|
41:16
|
where I was gonna reenact our first few dates, but then it got messed up.
|
|
41:19
|
-No, it's not messed up. It's not. -No, it is, 'cause your dad--
|
|
41:21
|
-No, it's not. Ezra! Ezra! -Like, it's ruined.
|
|
41:23
|
-What? -You can still go through with it.
|
|
41:28
|
When?
|
|
41:29
|
-Now! Right now! -Like now?
|
|
41:30
|
Yes, right now.
|
|
41:34
|
-Right-- -Hurry up!
|
|
41:36
|
Okay, I'm gonna take off my shoe so I don't crease it.
|
|
41:43
|
Amira… [exhales]
|
|
41:47
|
-I love you so much. -Hmm.
|
|
41:49
|
I have never felt so understood by somebody in my entire life.
|
|
41:54
|
I am blown away by your beauty
|
|
41:57
|
and your intelligence and your grace.
|
|
41:59
|
[Amira sighs]
|
|
42:01
|
And now you just do whatever you wanna do.
|
|
42:04
|
And if you let me,
|
|
42:06
|
I will do everything in my power to give you the most beautiful life,
|
|
42:10
|
filled with love and laughter and joy.
|
|
42:17
|
Amira, will you marry me?
|
|
42:20
|
Of course.
|
|
42:21
|
You will?
|
|
42:23
|
-[Amira chuckles] Yes! -Oh, my God.
|
|
42:28
|
[exhales]
|
|
42:30
|
Oh! Oh, my God!
|
|
42:32
|
It's from the Holocaust, so that's why it's small.
|
|
42:35
|
-[Amira] Oh, I love you. -I love you.
|
|
42:38
|
[Amira] I need some color, look.
|
|
42:41
|
Sorry it's so small.
|
|
42:42
|
No, it's beautiful.
|
|
42:45
|
So what's the story again? It's your grandmother's?
|
|
42:48
|
Yeah, it's my grandmother's. It was her--
|
|
42:51
|
She got it in the Holocaust or whatever.
|
|
42:54
|
But like, how old is she if it's from the Holocaust?
|
|
42:58
|
It's been a minute. I don't know.
|
|
43:00
|
I think she got engaged when she was, like, three or four years old.
|
|
43:03
|
[laughing]
|
|
43:04
|
-It was a different time, you know. -So stupid.
|
|
43:07
|
-It was a different… -What is wrong with you? [laughing]
|
|
43:11
|
[chattering]
|
|
43:14
|
[Amira laughing]
|
|
43:19
|
[Ezra] Don, known you my whole life.
|
|
43:22
|
You've been an incredible boss.
|
|
43:24
|
I grew up with your kids.
|
|
43:25
|
Been on family vacations together. You've always looked out for me.
|
|
43:28
|
-Mm-hmm. -Been like a father to me.
|
|
43:30
|
And working for you these past ten years has been life-changing.
|
|
43:34
|
But it's time for a new adventure.
|
|
43:37
|
That's it? That was great!
|
|
43:39
|
-That was really good. -An adventure in podcasting.
|
|
43:44
|
Uh, maybe leave the podcast part out.
|
|
43:47
|
I'm gonna throw up.
|
|
43:48
|
No, wait, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Listen.
|
|
43:50
|
-Dude, I'm… [sighs] -Listen. Listen to me though. Relax.
|
|
43:54
|
You're doing the right thing. You just gotta do it.
|
|
43:56
|
You understand? You got the juice!
|
|
44:00
|
Repeat that. "I got the juice."
|
|
44:02
|
I got the juice.
|
|
44:03
|
-I got the juice. -I got the juice.
|
|
44:05
|
Say it with some nuts. I got the juice.
|
|
44:06
|
-I got the juice! -Believe in yourself!
|
|
44:08
|
-I got the juice! -I'm not a buster. I got the juice.
|
|
44:10
|
I'm not a mark-ass buster like Don. I got the juice, bitch!
|
|
44:13
|
-Period. -Period!
|
|
44:14
|
Okay. Now, when you get home, we're gonna watch Juice,
|
|
44:17
|
because I'm sure Shelley didn't let you watch Juice growing up.
|
|
44:20
|
That is so disrespectful.
|
|
44:21
|
-Is it? -I've seen Juice more than you.
|
|
44:23
|
-Ooh! [laughs] -I love you.
|
|
44:25
|
-I love you. You got this, okay? -Thank you. All right.
|
|
44:28
|
Come on, Don! You little bitch-ass Don!
|
|
44:32
|
I'm coming for you, Don!
|
|
44:33
|
-Okay. -[Ezra] Come on!
|
|
44:35
|
-[hip-hop music playing] -♪ Insane… ♪
|
|
44:38
|
[Don] I do not care, Javier.
|
|
44:40
|
-[exhales] -[Don] Just get it!
|
|
44:43
|
♪ I'm just in pain… ♪
|
|
44:45
|
I don't give a rat's ass, okay? How about that?
|
|
44:47
|
My Maserati sounds like it got gangbanged by the Toronto Raptors,
|
|
44:52
|
so fix it!
|
|
44:53
|
Jesus!
|
|
44:55
|
What's up?
|
|
44:58
|
-Cars, huh? -[Don sighs]
|
|
45:01
|
Yeah.
|
|
45:03
|
[Ezra] Mm-hmm.
|
|
45:05
|
On… On that.
|
|
45:07
|
Um… [sighs]
|
|
45:09
|
I, uh, I don't…
|
|
45:12
|
I don't think I'm gonna--
|
|
45:13
|
I think I'm gonna not come to work at this address…
|
|
45:16
|
-What? -…anymore.
|
|
45:18
|
What are you talking about?
|
|
45:19
|
[splutters] At a different address, I'm gonna work--
|
|
45:22
|
I'm not gonna work here at this address, so I'm gonna, like, do a different place
|
|
45:26
|
that I'm gonna do the work from that's different work.
|
|
45:29
|
Are you trying to quit on me?
|
|
45:31
|
Yeah. Goodbye.
|
|
45:34
|
Pathetic. Who resigns in Helvetica?
|
|
45:38
|
Wait, so you said, "Fuck you, Don"?
|
|
45:41
|
Pretty much.
|
|
45:42
|
What did he say?
|
|
45:43
|
He was like, "You're a great guy. And like, I'm sorry that--"
|
|
45:47
|
"Like, I wish I did better in a weird way too."
|
|
45:50
|
And I was like, "It's all good, but also like, don't…"
|
|
45:53
|
-Period. -You know, period.
|
|
45:55
|
Oh, I love that.
|
|
45:56
|
-To the juice. -To the juice!
|
|
45:58
|
[Ezra] Mm. Mm. Mmm!
|
|
46:01
|
All right.
|
|
46:03
|
Let's talk wedding before I think too hard about what I actually just did.
|
|
46:06
|
[inhales] Um, sure.
|
|
46:10
|
Huh. That's a super reassuring response.
|
|
46:13
|
No, babe, I'm sorry.
|
|
46:14
|
Look, you know I love you to death. I really do.
|
|
46:18
|
Uh-oh.
|
|
46:20
|
I'm just a little worried.
|
|
46:22
|
You know, since we got engaged and got the house, my family,
|
|
46:26
|
they've just been on my head and not in a good way.
|
|
46:29
|
So they hate me.
|
|
46:30
|
-No! No, no, they don't. -Your family hates me.
|
|
46:32
|
They just don't know you yet, you know. And I think…
|
|
46:35
|
Look, this is gonna take some getting used to for them.
|
|
46:39
|
I mean, and can you honestly say that your family's excited
|
|
46:41
|
to have my Black ass in the picture?
|
|
46:44
|
I think a good portion of them are.
|
|
46:46
|
For sure.
|
|
46:49
|
[sighs] All right.
|
|
46:51
|
Let me think about this.
|
|
46:55
|
[Amira sighs]
|
|
46:56
|
From where I'm sitting, I think there's only one thing left to do.
|
|
47:02
|
[Shelley] I mean, there are just so many primary colors in this space.
|
|
47:06
|
-Which is very uplifting. -[Arnold] Alive.
|
|
47:10
|
It really is.
|
|
47:11
|
-And we are so thrilled about this. -[mother] Mm.
|
|
47:15
|
-Mm! -[Shelley] I mean, they're just precious.
|
|
47:18
|
[laughing]
|
|
47:19
|
So have you cuties made any, uh, wedding plans yet?
|
|
47:24
|
You know, we've thrown some ideas around.
|
|
47:26
|
Yeah, we're thinking something really small and intimate
|
|
47:29
|
that really just represents us.
|
|
47:30
|
[Shelley] Uh-huh.
|
|
47:31
|
But we should probably talk about who's gonna officiate the wedding.
|
|
47:34
|
Oh, Arnold already talked to Rabbi Singer.
|
|
47:37
|
Singer is in!
|
|
47:38
|
[Shelley] Yeah, he'd be honored.
|
|
47:40
|
Rabbi Singer.
|
|
47:42
|
-[mother] Hmm. -So you're not gonna go with an imam?
|
|
47:45
|
-[Amira hesitates] Um… -Who's Auntie Mom?
|
|
47:48
|
-There's no Auntie Mom. It's an "imam." -Imam.
|
|
47:51
|
Mm. I'm so sorry. Can you spell that for me?
|
|
47:52
|
I'll spell it for you later. It's like a rabbi for Muslim people.
|
|
47:55
|
-Thank you, Ezra. -[Arnold] Oh.
|
|
47:56
|
-[mother chuckles] -Oh, so you're all Muslim?
|
|
47:59
|
-Yes. -Oh, yes, very much so.
|
|
48:01
|
I love it.
|
|
48:02
|
That's why I wear this crown.
|
|
48:04
|
I love your crown. It's gorgeous.
|
|
48:06
|
Babe, you wanna, um, tell them the story behind that crown?
|
|
48:10
|
Well, this kufi that I'm wearing right now
|
|
48:13
|
was actually a gift from the honorable Louis Farrakhan.
|
|
48:17
|
Mmm! Love Farrakhan.
|
|
48:21
|
You… You love Farrakhan?
|
|
48:24
|
Love him. Can't get enough.
|
|
48:26
|
He's… He's one of the GOATs. He's another one of the GOATs.
|
|
48:29
|
-Really? What do you love about Farrakhan? -Yeah, what do you love about Farrakhan?
|
|
48:34
|
Probably the same stuff that you do, just more stuff.
|
|
48:38
|
[Shelley, mother] Hmm.
|
|
48:39
|
Can you be a bit more specific?
|
|
48:41
|
Yeah, um,
|
|
48:43
|
I think what I love about him is his general vibe.
|
|
48:48
|
-[Akbar] Ah. -He's got kind of a no-frills attitude.
|
|
48:51
|
And I just think he tells it like it's gotta be told sometimes.
|
|
48:56
|
-Just stop, babe. -For sure, yeah.
|
|
48:58
|
[mother] Ooh! Oh, babe, maybe you should finish telling them
|
|
49:01
|
about our private dinner with the minister.
|
|
49:03
|
Oh, well, we were blessed to be in Brother Minister's company,
|
|
49:07
|
and, uh, I got to speak with him for maybe, like, an hour or so.
|
|
49:11
|
-Oh. -[Akbar] We talked about everything.
|
|
49:13
|
How far we've come and how far we have to go as a people.
|
|
49:15
|
No kidding.
|
|
49:16
|
And at the end of the conversation, he actually took this kufi off
|
|
49:19
|
and put it on my head.
|
|
49:21
|
So this is one of my most treasured gifts.
|
|
49:23
|
-Isn't that incredible? -Yes.
|
|
49:25
|
Are you familiar with, um, the minister's work?
|
|
49:28
|
Well, I'm familiar with what he said about the Jews.
|
|
49:31
|
Let's have dinner.
|
|
49:32
|
-Yeah. -I am fucking-- so fucking hungry.
|
|
49:34
|
Let's get up and do it. Whoo!
|
|
49:37
|
I found this great new Sirius station on the radio.
|
|
49:40
|
-It's '90s West Coast bangers. -Hey!
|
|
49:43
|
It has all the stuff.
|
|
49:45
|
Yeah, Dad, I see you driving down Xzibit highway,
|
|
49:48
|
and let's refocus it to this dinner that Amira made,
|
|
49:51
|
because she's a genius.
|
|
49:52
|
-[chuckles] Okay, well, let's dig in. -All right.
|
|
49:56
|
So wait, wait, wait, wait. We're not gonna say grace first?
|
|
49:59
|
-[Ezra] No, I mean, yeah. -Yeah.
|
|
50:01
|
Oh, I was gonna say grace.
|
|
50:02
|
-I mean, we say grace all the time, so… -All the time.
|
|
50:05
|
[Ezra] Muslim style, so because you're here,
|
|
50:07
|
maybe out of respect, you would wanna lead.
|
|
50:10
|
-[mother] Mm-hmm. -Well, I will do the honors.
|
|
50:14
|
-[exhales] -[silverware clatters]
|
|
50:15
|
[Shelley] Oh.
|
|
50:18
|
[Akbar] All praises be to Allah, who fed us and provided us with drink…
|
|
50:22
|
[whispers] Close your eyes.
|
|
50:23
|
[Akbar] …and made us from among the Muslims.
|
|
50:25
|
All praises be to Allah,
|
|
50:26
|
who fed me this and provided it for me
|
|
50:29
|
without any power or might from myself.
|
|
50:31
|
-Correct. -[Akbar speaking Arabic]
|
|
50:36
|
-Amin. -[Ezra] Definitely.
|
|
50:37
|
-Amin. -Amen.
|
|
50:39
|
-[all] Amin. -[Shelley splutters]
|
|
50:41
|
I couldn't have said it better myself.
|
|
50:43
|
So, Ezra tells me that you guys used to have a boat growing up.
|
|
50:47
|
[Shelley] Yeah.
|
|
50:48
|
I was thinking that maybe one day
|
|
50:49
|
we can rent a boat and go out.
|
|
50:52
|
-Hang out. -[Arnold] Oh.
|
|
50:53
|
-All of us. -That would be really fun.
|
|
50:55
|
-I can make that happen. -We'll think about it.
|
|
50:57
|
Because Black folks don't really have a good relationship with boats.
|
|
50:59
|
[laughing] That's very true. Or water.
|
|
51:02
|
[chuckling] Kind of like Jews with trains, right?
|
|
51:05
|
-[Arnold] Wow. Bingo. -[Shelley] Hmm.
|
|
51:07
|
[laughing]
|
|
51:08
|
[scoffs] Are you trying to compare the Holocaust to slavery?
|
|
51:13
|
Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm not doing-- I mean, I wouldn't do that.
|
|
51:20
|
Al… Although, you know, if you think about it,
|
|
51:23
|
I think the Blacks and the Jews have a similar struggle.
|
|
51:27
|
-[Arnold] Hmm. -[Shelley] Yeah.
|
|
51:29
|
No. So you are kind of sort of comparing the two.
|
|
51:31
|
-Just a little bit. -Can you pass the potatoes this way, hmm?
|
|
51:34
|
Well, the Jews were technically the original slaves.
|
|
51:38
|
-Right? OG slaves. -[Shelley] Oh, that's interesting.
|
|
51:41
|
Oh, you going all the way back to Egypt.
|
|
51:44
|
Okay, well, you do know that that was 3,500 years ago.
|
|
51:47
|
Slavery is one great-grandparent away for us.
|
|
51:50
|
-That is correct. -You know. My grandmother picked cotton.
|
|
51:52
|
Well, Daddy, I don't think that they were trying--
|
|
51:54
|
-No, it's true, honey. -My grandmother picked cotton.
|
|
51:57
|
I don't have to go back to Egypt. I just go back 75 years.
|
|
52:00
|
You know, Jews make up one-half of 1% of the world's population,
|
|
52:03
|
because we were systematically annihilated.
|
|
52:05
|
Exactly.
|
|
52:06
|
The one and one-half percent of the population that you make up
|
|
52:09
|
seems to be doing pretty good right now.
|
|
52:14
|
Uh, yeah, okay, but… [chuckles]
|
|
52:18
|
Here's the thing. It's not like we don't work hard for it.
|
|
52:22
|
You know? I mean Arnold, he works super-duper hard in his practice.
|
|
52:27
|
-He's a podiatrist. You do, honey. -And… And what did his father do?
|
|
52:31
|
He was a podiatrist.
|
|
52:32
|
And what about his father?
|
|
52:33
|
He was a… a podiatrist.
|
|
52:36
|
-Yeah, so… -[Arnold] Well.
|
|
52:37
|
-And a bookie. -Yes, he did that on the side.
|
|
52:40
|
He went straight.
|
|
52:42
|
[Shelley] All I'm saying is that our people
|
|
52:44
|
came here with nothing like everybody else.
|
|
52:46
|
Actually, you kind of sort of came here
|
|
52:50
|
with the money that you made from the slave trade.
|
|
52:53
|
-What? Oh! -[Akbar] Preach.
|
|
52:54
|
-Preach, Mother. Preach, Mother. -[Arnold] Holy moly.
|
|
52:56
|
-Come on. -It's true. It's very tr--
|
|
52:58
|
-I would like to see your sources on that. -Baby, go get my purse.
|
|
53:01
|
I've got my slave receipts in my purse.
|
|
53:03
|
-Go get my purse. -[Akbar] Take that off the table.
|
|
53:06
|
I don't turn on the news every day and see people in yarmulkes getting shot
|
|
53:10
|
by police because they was out minding their business.
|
|
53:12
|
Okay, first of all, you have no idea what you're talking about.
|
|
53:15
|
-A very uncomfortable conversation. -[chattering]
|
|
53:17
|
Ever figure out what happened with the potatoes? An ETA on those?
|
|
53:20
|
I'm trying.
|
|
53:21
|
[mother sneezes]
|
|
53:22
|
Are you okay?
|
|
53:23
|
I think we need to blow the candles out. I'm getting an allergic reaction.
|
|
53:26
|
Babe, can you move the candles?
|
|
53:28
|
-Yes. -Can you get these candles out of here?
|
|
53:30
|
-[Shelley] Yes. -Candles smell like shit.
|
|
53:31
|
-[chattering] -No, it's okay. I got it.
|
|
53:33
|
When my grandmother was picking cotton, your grandfather's picking feet.
|
|
53:37
|
Yes, I agree.
|
|
53:38
|
[Ezra] I just want you to sit down. I am hosting.
|
|
53:40
|
-[chattering] -No, no. There they go!
|
|
53:43
|
I am supposed--
|
|
53:44
|
-Oh, shit! Oh, shit! -[screaming]
|
|
53:48
|
-Oh, shit! -[Ezra] Oh, shit!
|
|
53:49
|
-Grab some water or something! -[Akbar] Oh, shit! What the fuck!
|
|
53:52
|
What are you doing? Hey! No!
|
|
53:54
|
-[shouting] -No! No!
|
|
53:57
|
-Stop it! -I'm sorry! Oh, my God.
|
|
54:00
|
[gasps]
|
|
54:01
|
[mother] Oh, Lord.
|
|
54:03
|
Oh, shit.
|
|
54:05
|
[Amira sighs]
|
|
54:09
|
What are we gonna do?
|
|
54:11
|
-About the kufi? It's gone, baby. -No, our parents.
|
|
54:15
|
Who cares?
|
|
54:16
|
Like, we don't even have to worry about that.
|
|
54:19
|
I mean, your dad's intense, yeah, but we knew that going in.
|
|
54:22
|
What is that supposed to mean?
|
|
54:25
|
Guess it's supposed to mean that he didn't smile or make one joke--
|
|
54:28
|
Oh, wow. Are you trying to say that my dad's an angry Black man?
|
|
54:31
|
I never said he was angry, no.
|
|
54:32
|
Yeah, but you're saying a Black man is intense,
|
|
54:35
|
which is insinuating that he is.
|
|
54:37
|
He is Black, and he's intense.
|
|
54:40
|
Yeah, but you don't say that as a white person about a Black person,
|
|
54:43
|
calling them "aggressive" or "intense."
|
|
54:45
|
That's being passive-aggressive saying that he's an angry Black man.
|
|
54:48
|
-Should I say he's not intense? -Say nothing about my dad.
|
|
54:51
|
If anyone should have any beef, it's with your mom.
|
|
54:53
|
She set my dad's kufi on fire.
|
|
54:55
|
What's wrong with my mom? I mean, yeah, she's, like, an idiot,
|
|
54:58
|
but she still, like, means well.
|
|
55:00
|
It's not like she did it on purpose.
|
|
55:01
|
Mm. Yeah, I don't know about that.
|
|
55:05
|
All right, I'm not gonna argue about something so ridiculous, okay?
|
|
55:08
|
[sighs] All right, let's talk about the rabbi.
|
|
55:11
|
I don't think we need that. Let's just have a friend of ours do it.
|
|
55:14
|
[inhales] Um, I would like to use our imam.
|
|
55:18
|
Your imam?
|
|
55:19
|
[Amira] Mm-hmm.
|
|
55:21
|
Okay, Miss Shakur. When did you get so Muslim?
|
|
55:24
|
I've been Muslim. I was born Muslim.
|
|
55:26
|
And it's important to my dad, so I think we should go with it.
|
|
55:28
|
Was that Muslim bacon you ate yesterday?
|
|
55:30
|
It actually was. It was Jewish bacon.
|
|
55:32
|
-Jewish bacon? -Yeah.
|
|
55:33
|
-I don't claim to be super Jewish. -Okay.
|
|
55:35
|
-I eat bacon all day. I don't care. -Okay. Well, so what? And?
|
|
55:37
|
-Yeah, you want an imam to marry us. -So?
|
|
55:39
|
Want me to face the bed towards Mecca?
|
|
55:41
|
-I can do that. -Actually, I do. Very much so.
|
|
55:43
|
Okay, cool, I love that four hours ago you became a devout Muslim.
|
|
55:46
|
-For sure. -Your dad's not even that Muslim!
|
|
55:48
|
He heard "Fight the Power" once and changed his name from Woody to Akbar.
|
|
55:51
|
Okay, now you're going all out of line. Relax.
|
|
55:54
|
-You told me that. We joke about it. -Yeah.
|
|
55:56
|
But I didn't tell you that for you to turn around and tell me.
|
|
55:58
|
You're being-- Really, low-key, you're being an asshole.
|
|
56:02
|
-I'm being an asshole? -Yes.
|
|
56:06
|
-[Ezra] Okay. -[exhales]
|
|
56:10
|
You know what? I really-- I don't wanna fight. I can't.
|
|
56:14
|
I don't wanna fight about it, okay?
|
|
56:16
|
We just had too much going on tonight. I just… I can't.
|
|
56:20
|
Me either. I don't wanna fight about it either.
|
|
56:23
|
[exhales]
|
|
56:25
|
[inhales] Look, I think our time would be best used
|
|
56:28
|
if we just think about how to move forward.
|
|
56:31
|
I agree.
|
|
56:34
|
I'm gonna pitch that we just never speak to these people ever again
|
|
56:37
|
and just a full, clean break.
|
|
56:40
|
We cannot do that.
|
|
56:43
|
You know, I'm thinking that maybe if we spend more time with them together,
|
|
56:48
|
maybe you and my dad can kind of hang out, just you and him.
|
|
56:53
|
Sounds rad.
|
|
56:54
|
Then I think he can get comfortable with you, you know.
|
|
56:56
|
And then maybe he'll see what we have going on.
|
|
57:00
|
Just might make him feel, you know… and you too.
|
|
57:04
|
-Okay. -Okay.
|
|
57:08
|
-[sighs] -Okay.
|
|
57:09
|
I gotta go to sleep. I started my period, and it's just been hell.
|
|
57:12
|
Yeah, I'm worried too,
|
|
57:14
|
'cause I haven't gotten my period in, like, 35 years.
|
|
57:18
|
-I should see a doctor or something. -[both laughing]
|
|
57:22
|
["Hood Took Me Under" by Compton's Most Wanted playing]
|
|
57:29
|
♪ I got another gang story to tell ♪
|
|
57:31
|
♪ Peep about how a Black nigga Was born in hell ♪
|
|
57:35
|
♪ And right then and there is no hope ♪
|
|
57:37
|
♪ 'Cause a nigga can't escape The gangs and the dope ♪
|
|
57:41
|
♪ Damn! And when it's Black on Black That makes it shitty ♪
|
|
57:44
|
♪ Can't survive in the Compton city… ♪
|
|
57:48
|
Amira told me that you gave up a job in finance
|
|
57:51
|
so you could start a podcast.
|
|
57:55
|
[sighs] Yes, that is true. I know it sounds crazy.
|
|
57:59
|
Oh, so you do know that that sounds crazy?
|
|
58:03
|
Yes, yeah, I mean, I do. I mean--
|
|
58:05
|
-You know it sounds crazy. -I do. I do, and she, you know…
|
|
58:09
|
Look, she's amazing, and she was like,
|
|
58:11
|
"Life is short, and you gotta follow your dream," you know.
|
|
58:14
|
How are you gonna support my daughter by following a dream?
|
|
58:18
|
Do you have, like, some dream Bitcoin
|
|
58:21
|
or a dream 401(k) or some shit?
|
|
58:25
|
I don't have a dream 401(k).
|
|
58:27
|
But I am gonna give it everything I have.
|
|
58:32
|
[accented] You're gonna give it everything you've got?
|
|
58:34
|
That sounds like some white boy shit.
|
|
58:36
|
"I'm gonna give it everything I've got!"
|
|
58:37
|
[Ezra] Yeah, I see it. I can handle the jokes like that, for sure.
|
|
58:40
|
[Akbar] I'm not joking.
|
|
58:42
|
No, I know you're not joking. I think that's-- I'm saying you're doing a good--
|
|
58:45
|
I'm not trying to do shit. I'm saying what you just said.
|
|
58:49
|
[Ezra] Right. You weren't doing an impression.
|
|
58:51
|
Again, I wasn't saying you were doing an impression.
|
|
58:53
|
[Akbar] Nigga, I don't do impressions.
|
|
58:55
|
I don't think-- I don't even-- I don't think you do impressions.
|
|
58:59
|
[Shelley] You know, I really did enjoy meeting your parents the other night,
|
|
59:02
|
but I felt so horrible about your father's kufi.
|
|
59:06
|
-You know? -[sighs]
|
|
59:07
|
I… I actually… I have a little piece of it left,
|
|
59:10
|
and I was thinking maybe I could frame it or something.
|
|
59:13
|
-Oh, no. It's okay. -Yeah.
|
|
59:14
|
-You sure? I could take it to Michaels. -Oh, yeah.
|
|
59:16
|
And they actually do a pretty good job.
|
|
59:18
|
You wouldn't think it for a craft store, but they do.
|
|
59:21
|
[hesitates] He has a lot of kufis at home. It's fine.
|
|
59:25
|
-Oh, he does? -Yes.
|
|
59:26
|
Oh, okay. He's got a kufi closet. [laughs]
|
|
59:29
|
No, it's not a closet.
|
|
59:31
|
-[Shelley] No, I'm just making a little… -It's actually a respectful situation.
|
|
59:35
|
[Shelley] Oh, yes, absolutely. I'm sure it's just a nice shelf, yes.
|
|
59:39
|
-["N****s in Paris" playing] -Oh! Love this song!
|
|
59:43
|
Sorry. I love this song.
|
|
59:45
|
Yeah, it's a hot one.
|
|
59:47
|
-It's provocative. Gets the people going. -Why--
|
|
59:50
|
Why you like this song so much?
|
|
59:52
|
Oh, it's amazing, man. It's provocative.
|
|
59:54
|
Yeah. What, you like the lyrics?
|
|
59:57
|
I just think it's, like, a jam. It's just a jam, you know.
|
|
1:00:01
|
Yeah, you know what?
|
|
1:00:02
|
What's the title of this song again? I forgot the name of this song.
|
|
1:00:05
|
[music continues playing]
|
|
1:00:06
|
-The name of this song. What is it? -[Akbar] It's so provocative.
|
|
1:00:09
|
-What is it? [mutters] -♪ This shit crazy… ♪
|
|
1:00:11
|
I don't know. I think-- is it "In Paris?"
|
|
1:00:13
|
[Akbar] Something about something in Paris.
|
|
1:00:15
|
-What is it? -It's "Midnight… Midnight in Paris"?
|
|
1:00:18
|
-That's not it. -Is it "Midnight in Paris"?
|
|
1:00:20
|
It's not "Midnight." It's not "Midnight."
|
|
1:00:22
|
It's somebody else is in Paris.
|
|
1:00:25
|
-A pack of pals in Paris? -That's close.
|
|
1:00:28
|
Are you cold?
|
|
1:00:29
|
-No. -There's seat heaters even.
|
|
1:00:30
|
-Oh. No, I'm okay. Thank you. -Okay.
|
|
1:00:33
|
-["Rise Up" by Andra Day playing] -[gasps] Ooh, I love this song.
|
|
1:00:36
|
It is so fire.
|
|
1:00:37
|
-Do you love it? -[music continues playing]
|
|
1:00:39
|
-Oh, yeah, I know this song. -♪ I rise unafraid, I rise up ♪
|
|
1:00:43
|
Oh, it kills me.
|
|
1:00:45
|
♪ A thousand times a day ♪
|
|
1:00:49
|
[inhales, vocalizes]
|
|
1:00:53
|
Don't you love that part?
|
|
1:00:54
|
[continues vocalizing]
|
|
1:00:58
|
You know, it's so funny 'cause I think I don't know the title of the track.
|
|
1:01:01
|
But I think-- And that's not what I respond to.
|
|
1:01:04
|
I think I respond to more what it's about,
|
|
1:01:08
|
which is like friendship with a Parisian backdrop.
|
|
1:01:12
|
-[music continues playing] -[vocalizing]
|
|
1:01:17
|
♪ Mountains ♪
|
|
1:01:19
|
♪ Pretty Jewish feet ♪ [vocalizing]
|
|
1:01:25
|
♪ Mountains ♪
|
|
1:01:27
|
-[music continues playing] -It's about everybody, you know.
|
|
1:01:30
|
More your friends maybe together than mine--
|
|
1:01:33
|
[splutters] But we… we should go to Paris.
|
|
1:01:35
|
-Or the four of us. -Four of us will go to Paris.
|
|
1:01:37
|
Then we'll be just like this record.
|
|
1:01:40
|
If we went to Paris. Almost like this record.
|
|
1:01:43
|
It'll be 75% of this record if we went to Paris together with you.
|
|
1:01:47
|
I'm not putting the math together on it, but…
|
|
1:01:50
|
-[music continues playing] -[vocalizing]
|
|
1:01:57
|
Can't quite do that note.
|
|
1:01:59
|
[vocalizes]
|
|
1:02:06
|
-[music continues playing] -[singer vocalizing]
|
|
1:02:12
|
["CussWords" by Too $hort playing] ♪ Cuss words, just let 'em run ♪
|
|
1:02:15
|
♪ And all their fucking shit Goddamn asshole… ♪
|
|
1:02:18
|
[man 1] Hey, nigga, didn't I tell your ass no guns in here?
|
|
1:02:21
|
-[chattering, laughing] -[man] Put that away.
|
|
1:02:23
|
That's the third time I told you. God damn it!
|
|
1:02:25
|
[man 2 laughs]
|
|
1:02:26
|
[razors whirring]
|
|
1:02:32
|
Oh, hey, what's up, Ak?
|
|
1:02:33
|
-What's going on, Ant? -[Ant] I'm all right.
|
|
1:02:35
|
-You got me? -Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, you and your, uh…
|
|
1:02:39
|
You and your pigment-challenged friend have a seat there.
|
|
1:02:41
|
I got a bleeder. Let me get this Gorilla Glue.
|
|
1:02:44
|
[inhales] I hope the wait ain't too long.
|
|
1:02:46
|
You don't have a problem with getting lined up here, do you?
|
|
1:02:49
|
Yeah. I'm chilling. This place is dope.
|
|
1:02:52
|
That's right.
|
|
1:02:54
|
Although, there appears to be a dress code that I wasn't informed of.
|
|
1:02:58
|
[Akbar] Great, then we're good.
|
|
1:03:00
|
Hey, Ak, what's up with White Cuzz?
|
|
1:03:04
|
Well, I don't know, man. You know, honestly, I don't really know this nigga.
|
|
1:03:09
|
Am I White Cuzz?
|
|
1:03:11
|
-Well, I'm not. -Hey, yo, White Cuzz.
|
|
1:03:14
|
I'm White Cuzz, for sure.
|
|
1:03:16
|
What's up, man?
|
|
1:03:18
|
Why don't you do me a favor, slide out of that dead hoodie for me?
|
|
1:03:20
|
[Ezra] Hmm?
|
|
1:03:21
|
Your hoodie, nigga, wrong color. Why don't you take that shit off?
|
|
1:03:25
|
Oh, shit.
|
|
1:03:27
|
Oh, yeah, you know what? It is humid as fuck. Definitely.
|
|
1:03:30
|
It's funny. You were so cold in the car a second ago.
|
|
1:03:32
|
I know, because the AC was blowing at my throat.
|
|
1:03:35
|
And I was scared of getting strep, and then I'm not anymore,
|
|
1:03:39
|
because we're in this, like, small place with a bunch of people.
|
|
1:03:42
|
So I'm like, it's all good. I'm just gonna take the hoodie off.
|
|
1:03:45
|
[splutters] Okay. Wait a minute. Are you sure you wanna do that?
|
|
1:03:49
|
I mean, who am I?
|
|
1:03:50
|
But what's gonna happen after you take that off? What's next?
|
|
1:03:53
|
Gonna be getting cornered by his crew out in the shower.
|
|
1:03:56
|
Fighting for your manhood every day, till you get tired and tap out.
|
|
1:04:01
|
And then you be a certified rag doll.
|
|
1:04:03
|
Certified rag doll?
|
|
1:04:04
|
Have you doing their laundry and taking your commissary tray.
|
|
1:04:08
|
And the very last face you see
|
|
1:04:09
|
before you cry yourself to sleep every night will be his.
|
|
1:04:12
|
And the first face you see in the morning
|
|
1:04:14
|
when you wake up from your nightmares will be his.
|
|
1:04:17
|
Now, is this the kind of never-ending vicious cycle
|
|
1:04:20
|
you wanna get subjected to
|
|
1:04:21
|
just 'cause you wanted to take your hoodie off?
|
|
1:04:26
|
They have a commissary here?
|
|
1:04:28
|
[Shelley] I always wanted to take my daughter-in-law on a date like this.
|
|
1:04:32
|
-Okay, I'm excited. -Yeah. Yeah.
|
|
1:04:34
|
-Hi. -[mouths] One second.
|
|
1:04:36
|
-[exhales] -[receptionist] Yes…
|
|
1:04:39
|
Wow. That's attitude.
|
|
1:04:41
|
Anyway, they offer this beeswax wrap here.
|
|
1:04:43
|
-[Amira] Mm-hmm. -It's actually from beehives.
|
|
1:04:46
|
-Really? -[Shelley] Yeah.
|
|
1:04:47
|
They have hives here and--
|
|
1:04:49
|
-[receptionist] Hey. -Hi.
|
|
1:04:50
|
[receptionist] Don't you look cute.
|
|
1:04:52
|
Yeah, that's no problem. Are you okay with a male therapist?
|
|
1:04:56
|
-Oh, wow. -[receptionist] Yeah, Cesar's great…
|
|
1:04:59
|
I am so sorry.
|
|
1:05:01
|
Sorry for what?
|
|
1:05:02
|
Did… Did you not just see what happened?
|
|
1:05:05
|
No, what just happened?
|
|
1:05:08
|
Okay. Just so you know, I come here all the time.
|
|
1:05:11
|
-Right? -Okay, yeah.
|
|
1:05:12
|
-And so then I come in here with you. -Mm-hmm.
|
|
1:05:15
|
And they let some white woman just go in front of us. [scoffs]
|
|
1:05:19
|
-[scoffs] -Oh, oh, I didn't…
|
|
1:05:21
|
I mean, maybe her appointment was just ahead of ours.
|
|
1:05:24
|
I can't believe what you have to go through.
|
|
1:05:26
|
-What? What are you--? -Hang on just a second.
|
|
1:05:28
|
-No, I really don't think you should-- -I got it.
|
|
1:05:30
|
Okay, you are.
|
|
1:05:33
|
Hi.
|
|
1:05:34
|
Oh, hi. [scoffs]
|
|
1:05:36
|
Okay, so, um…
|
|
1:05:39
|
as a future mother-in-law
|
|
1:05:42
|
of an African-American woman in America,
|
|
1:05:47
|
I am appalled, and I am disgusted
|
|
1:05:50
|
to have witnessed the racism that I just witnessed.
|
|
1:05:55
|
Wait, what are you talking about?
|
|
1:05:56
|
Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
|
|
1:06:01
|
Hey.
|
|
1:06:03
|
[receptionist 2 laughs, types]
|
|
1:06:05
|
[chuckles] Miss Shelley. How about we get us some air?
|
|
1:06:09
|
-Uh, yeah. We're gonna get some air. -Get some air.
|
|
1:06:12
|
-[receptionist] Oh. -Um, it's under Cohen with-- with a C.
|
|
1:06:17
|
-Yep. -[Amira] Get some air.
|
|
1:06:19
|
["Tonite" by DJ Quik playing]
|
|
1:06:21
|
♪ Here we go, here we go… ♪
|
|
1:06:25
|
-[tires screech] -[siren wailing]
|
|
1:06:27
|
-[clamoring] -[man] Right here, right here!
|
|
1:06:30
|
[hip-hop music continues]
|
|
1:06:33
|
[cheering]
|
|
1:06:37
|
♪ They say that I'm hopeless ♪
|
|
1:06:38
|
♪ But I don't really care So blame it on the… ♪
|
|
1:06:41
|
-This looks like a decent run. -Yeah, man.
|
|
1:06:44
|
-[player] What's up, Ak? -What's up?
|
|
1:06:46
|
Hey, is this anything like Hughes Park?
|
|
1:06:48
|
Huh?
|
|
1:06:49
|
Langston Hughes Park.
|
|
1:06:50
|
You mentioned that you play there all the time.
|
|
1:06:52
|
Although a pretty extensive Google search
|
|
1:06:54
|
and literally every single person I asked about it never heard of it.
|
|
1:06:58
|
No, for sure, for sure. Google's been like…
|
|
1:07:01
|
Definitely being weird.
|
|
1:07:02
|
-And that's been, like, issues for me, so… -Ah!
|
|
1:07:04
|
I would take it to the Genius Bar on that one, but, uh…
|
|
1:07:07
|
Also, it's like a pop-up Langston Hughes,
|
|
1:07:09
|
but this definitely has, like, a Langston Hughes Park…
|
|
1:07:12
|
-Mm-hmm. -Sort of charisma to it, for sure.
|
|
1:07:14
|
Yeah, man, why don't you go out there and get a run in?
|
|
1:07:18
|
-Now? -Yeah, man, go play.
|
|
1:07:21
|
I think there's, like, a lot of people waiting and stuff.
|
|
1:07:23
|
Hey, can my man play?
|
|
1:07:25
|
[player] Yeah, come on in. Let's ball.
|
|
1:07:26
|
You got next.
|
|
1:07:27
|
-[player] Hurry up. -All right, yeah.
|
|
1:07:29
|
All right, now, go out there and get your Langston Hughes on.
|
|
1:07:33
|
I'm gonna.
|
|
1:07:34
|
Yeah. Hey. "Life for me ain't been no crystal stair."
|
|
1:07:39
|
-That's good. -Uh, that's Langston Hughes.
|
|
1:07:42
|
I know, dude. I say that shit all the time.
|
|
1:07:44
|
That's my email signature.
|
|
1:07:46
|
[laughs]
|
|
1:07:51
|
[players shout]
|
|
1:07:53
|
-[grunts] -[player] What the hell you doing, bro?
|
|
1:07:55
|
-[Ezra] Oh, you're filming this? -Yeah, kind of.
|
|
1:07:58
|
-You don't have to. -I know it. I'm doing it for me.
|
|
1:08:00
|
-[Ezra] Okay. -[laughs] Come on now, Langston.
|
|
1:08:03
|
[clamoring]
|
|
1:08:05
|
Swing that. [chuckles]
|
|
1:08:08
|
-[player] Come on, dude! -[Akbar] Come on now, Langston.
|
|
1:08:13
|
[dramatic music playing]
|
|
1:08:26
|
-[players shout] -["All I Do is Win" by DJ Khaled playing]
|
|
1:08:29
|
You weren't filming that?
|
|
1:08:30
|
Nah, I'mma get the next one though.
|
|
1:08:32
|
♪ All I do is win, win, win… ♪
|
|
1:08:34
|
Now go around him. That's right.
|
|
1:08:36
|
[players shout]
|
|
1:08:37
|
Come on now. Hey, y'all gonna just let him do that?
|
|
1:08:41
|
♪ Everybody's hands go up… ♪
|
|
1:08:44
|
♪ And they stay there… ♪
|
|
1:08:45
|
[players cheering]
|
|
1:08:47
|
♪ And they say yeah… ♪
|
|
1:08:51
|
[chattering]
|
|
1:08:53
|
Mr. Mohammad, this was awesome. We gotta do it again.
|
|
1:08:55
|
Yeah, I had a ball.
|
|
1:08:57
|
Throw me on a text with these guys. They're too much.
|
|
1:08:59
|
[players cheering]
|
|
1:09:00
|
-[chattering] -[laughing]
|
|
1:09:03
|
♪ And they say yeah… ♪
|
|
1:09:05
|
-[Ezra] What are you saying? -[Mo] Dude.
|
|
1:09:08
|
Black people and white people will never be cool. Period.
|
|
1:09:12
|
-What the fuck are you talking about? -The truth, dawg.
|
|
1:09:15
|
You're my best friend and my business partner.
|
|
1:09:18
|
Yeah, that's how powerful this shit is, bro.
|
|
1:09:21
|
It's kind of like when you cheat on a woman, right?
|
|
1:09:24
|
When you cheat on a woman, it's like you try to move forward but never can.
|
|
1:09:27
|
Why? 'Cause she just keeps asking questions.
|
|
1:09:29
|
She needs to know every detail. She won't let it go, you know.
|
|
1:09:32
|
It's like, "Did you strap her?"
|
|
1:09:34
|
"Did she suck it? Did you guys do anal?"
|
|
1:09:37
|
This is not where I was expecting this to go.
|
|
1:09:40
|
Oh, I mean, it's where it needs to go, man, 'cause it's the truth.
|
|
1:09:43
|
For Black people in this country, white dudes are the cheater.
|
|
1:09:48
|
And we're the chick who can't move on.
|
|
1:09:51
|
No matter how bad we want to,
|
|
1:09:53
|
we can't forget what y'all did and what y'all are still doing.
|
|
1:09:57
|
[hip-hop music playing]
|
|
1:10:06
|
-[man grunting] -[Shelley] Oh.
|
|
1:10:10
|
For those who don't know who I am, I am Demetrius, uh, Amira's cousin.
|
|
1:10:14
|
Love her to death.
|
|
1:10:15
|
And, uh, I'm a wedding planner.
|
|
1:10:17
|
Okay, first off, my name is "Amira,"
|
|
1:10:20
|
and you do day parties at the airport DoubleTree.
|
|
1:10:24
|
Uh, business is expanding as it should, right?
|
|
1:10:27
|
[chuckles] I mean, if you ain't escalating, what you doing?
|
|
1:10:30
|
-You know? -Yeah.
|
|
1:10:31
|
[woman laughs]
|
|
1:10:33
|
Well, um, I am Becca and, uh, also a party planner.
|
|
1:10:38
|
-I am an old friend of the Cohens. -Yeah.
|
|
1:10:41
|
I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be rude or anything.
|
|
1:10:44
|
But why… why do we need them?
|
|
1:10:46
|
-Oh, Amira. -Look, I can't stress this enough.
|
|
1:10:49
|
But I told you stress is gonna be extra
|
|
1:10:52
|
if I'm gonna be dealing with her, 'cause I… I gotta be amazing.
|
|
1:10:55
|
Don't worry about it. She's gonna cooperate.
|
|
1:10:57
|
[Demetrius] Thank you.
|
|
1:10:58
|
You know, you really don't have a lot of time.
|
|
1:11:00
|
so I do think we have to jump in pretty quickly.
|
|
1:11:02
|
I thought maybe we could start with a theme, lock that down.
|
|
1:11:06
|
Um, and I was thinking maybe like an old Hollywood.
|
|
1:11:09
|
[gasps] I love old Hollywood.
|
|
1:11:11
|
Right? I know.
|
|
1:11:12
|
You love the period when Black entertainers
|
|
1:11:15
|
couldn't stay in the hotels they performed in?
|
|
1:11:17
|
[Demetrius groans]
|
|
1:11:19
|
-That's an excellent point. -[mother] Mm-hmm.
|
|
1:11:21
|
You know, I've always hated Gone with the Wind.
|
|
1:11:23
|
Way before you were supposed to.
|
|
1:11:26
|
[Shelley] Before it was cool.
|
|
1:11:27
|
See, the spirit is moving me to move in this direction, which is, uh,
|
|
1:11:30
|
I was thinking more of, like, a Tron type of feel.
|
|
1:11:33
|
You know? Remember the '80s Tron?
|
|
1:11:35
|
-No. -[Akbar] Yeah.
|
|
1:11:36
|
So we have a Tron type of wedding, but a hood Tron, you know.
|
|
1:11:39
|
Keep it…. Keep it less expensive
|
|
1:11:41
|
by having, uh, LED light suits instead of the regular suits.
|
|
1:11:45
|
Have it in the hood, having real people doing real things in the Tron world.
|
|
1:11:49
|
-I… I don't think-- -I like that.
|
|
1:11:51
|
-I don't. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, brother, there we are.
|
|
1:11:54
|
[Shelley] A little clarity.
|
|
1:11:55
|
Do you mean that everybody wears the same suit to the wedding?
|
|
1:11:58
|
Nah, you pick your color, but you gotta get in where you fit in.
|
|
1:12:01
|
First come, first serve.
|
|
1:12:02
|
I want a red-- I want a red one.
|
|
1:12:04
|
You want the red one? We got that. So the red is gone.
|
|
1:12:06
|
[Shelley] Where do we get the suits?
|
|
1:12:08
|
Oh, I'll bring the suits, yeah.
|
|
1:12:09
|
I'll bring the suits. I got 40 hood Tron suits,
|
|
1:12:12
|
and, uh, they light up.
|
|
1:12:14
|
-All of 'em work. It's gonna be great. -[Akbar] Mm.
|
|
1:12:16
|
-And you have 40 of them? -Forty of 'em.
|
|
1:12:18
|
Anybody outside of y'all wedding, more than 40 people,
|
|
1:12:21
|
then that's on y'all.
|
|
1:12:23
|
I wouldn't bring them 'cause they couldn't fit in the suit.
|
|
1:12:26
|
They gonna look weird without being in a suit.
|
|
1:12:28
|
-It'll be cool, brother. There you go. -That sounds different.
|
|
1:12:31
|
-Ain't nobody did the Tron wedding. -[Demetrius] Ain't nobody did that.
|
|
1:12:34
|
Yo, our parents are killing us.
|
|
1:12:36
|
I know.
|
|
1:12:37
|
The good news is we are almost done with it.
|
|
1:12:42
|
And they've been so busy, they're basically out of our lives.
|
|
1:12:44
|
You're right. I haven't heard from my mom in days.
|
|
1:12:46
|
It's been amazing.
|
|
1:12:48
|
Yeah, I haven't heard from my dad either, which is rare,
|
|
1:12:50
|
because he hasn't even sent one of his "form follows function" texts.
|
|
1:12:55
|
Do you think something terrible happened to him?
|
|
1:12:57
|
Oh, my God, no. Why would you say that?
|
|
1:13:00
|
No, I-- that would be horrible.
|
|
1:13:03
|
That would be the worst. I'm just making sure he's okay.
|
|
1:13:07
|
Anyway, babe, I gotta go.
|
|
1:13:09
|
-I don't wanna be late. Kiss. -You look beautiful.
|
|
1:13:12
|
Thank you.
|
|
1:13:13
|
You're gonna kill it. Remember, you got the juice.
|
|
1:13:16
|
You really haven't seen that movie, have you?
|
|
1:13:18
|
If you fucking say I haven't seen Juice one more time,
|
|
1:13:20
|
I will leave your ass.
|
|
1:13:22
|
[Amira laughs]
|
|
1:13:24
|
That's why with the Victorian dress, I went with the blues and the greens.
|
|
1:13:28
|
A very rich color for this time.
|
|
1:13:30
|
And just so you guys know, I have really great relationships downtown,
|
|
1:13:33
|
and I can get high-quality fabrics for, like, a fraction of the cost.
|
|
1:13:36
|
-This is great. -Yeah.
|
|
1:13:38
|
I would love to leave you guys with some of my sketches.
|
|
1:13:40
|
[man] That would be amazing.
|
|
1:13:41
|
Man. And can you remind me when you graduated Harvard?
|
|
1:13:44
|
It's just maybe we know the same people.
|
|
1:13:46
|
Oh, um,
|
|
1:13:48
|
I… I didn't go to, um, Harvard. I went to Howard.
|
|
1:13:51
|
Howard. Sounds kind of similar.
|
|
1:13:54
|
It's like a Black Harvard.
|
|
1:13:57
|
Interesting.
|
|
1:14:01
|
[Ezra] Let's go!
|
|
1:14:02
|
No, I'm telling you, this bachelor party's exactly what you need
|
|
1:14:05
|
to get your mind right before the wedding, homie.
|
|
1:14:07
|
I'm so fucking stressed, bro.
|
|
1:14:09
|
-Oh! -I can't wait.
|
|
1:14:10
|
Vegas with the motherfucking squad, nigga. We gonna have so much fun.
|
|
1:14:14
|
Bro, I'm gonna do molly and lick a stripper's toes, man.
|
|
1:14:16
|
Shit's gonna be lit. [chuckles]
|
|
1:14:18
|
Hey. What's going on, y'all?
|
|
1:14:21
|
-Hey, what's up? -[Mo] Mm.
|
|
1:14:23
|
What's up?
|
|
1:14:24
|
Yeah, man. Hope it's not a problem me being here.
|
|
1:14:27
|
You know, I figure I'd tag along. I brought Omar too.
|
|
1:14:30
|
What's up, nigga?
|
|
1:14:32
|
Hey, Omar.
|
|
1:14:33
|
Yeah, when I found out that Amira
|
|
1:14:36
|
was gonna take your mother and sister to Palm Springs with the girls,
|
|
1:14:40
|
I figured it'd be cool for me to come hang out with the fellas.
|
|
1:14:44
|
-Yeah, that's such a good and normal idea. -Yeah.
|
|
1:14:47
|
Listen, when we're in Vegas,
|
|
1:14:48
|
I don't want you thinking I'm your future father-in-law.
|
|
1:14:51
|
I'm not that guy.
|
|
1:14:52
|
I'm just another one of the fellas, hanging out having a good time.
|
|
1:14:55
|
Hey, what's your boy's name again?
|
|
1:14:58
|
Uh, my name's Mo, and I have titties.
|
|
1:15:01
|
-Oh, I'm sorry, bro-- um, sister-- Mo. -[Mo] Mm-hmm.
|
|
1:15:03
|
-Yeah. -Yeah. [sighs]
|
|
1:15:06
|
-[man] Can I get my seat? -I'm sorry about that, yeah.
|
|
1:15:09
|
We gonna have fun.
|
|
1:15:11
|
Totally.
|
|
1:15:12
|
-What the fuck is going on? -Bro, I don't know.
|
|
1:15:14
|
But his casual nature is terrifying, all right?
|
|
1:15:17
|
He's the type of nigga that'll kill you
|
|
1:15:19
|
and get a solid nine and a half hours of sleep.
|
|
1:15:21
|
I've done that.
|
|
1:15:25
|
I've done that.
|
|
1:15:31
|
Hey, did you know that Mo had titties?
|
|
1:15:33
|
Yeah, they're on her chest.
|
|
1:15:36
|
Dude, uh, so what's your plan?
|
|
1:15:38
|
We catch this kid with the beard doing weird stupid shit,
|
|
1:15:40
|
and you just snitch on him to your daughter?
|
|
1:15:42
|
No, we gonna just go down there and make sure he don't have no fun.
|
|
1:15:48
|
That is very low class of you.
|
|
1:15:52
|
-But I cannot lie. That is a good plan. -Hmm.
|
|
1:15:55
|
Vegas has a knack for bringing out who people really are.
|
|
1:15:57
|
-That's right. -Can tell a lot about a man by his crew.
|
|
1:16:00
|
That's right.
|
|
1:16:01
|
-[cork pops] -[laughing, shouting]
|
|
1:16:03
|
-Cheers! -[man] Shot!
|
|
1:16:04
|
Shot!
|
|
1:16:07
|
-Swallow the pill. -Ahh!
|
|
1:16:08
|
-[Mo] All right, this is for my boy. -[Ezra] Yeah.
|
|
1:16:10
|
The E to the Z to the motherfucking E. You know what I'm saying?
|
|
1:16:13
|
He's trading in his pimp card, boys.
|
|
1:16:15
|
-Yeah, this one's for me. -[Mo] Hell yeah!
|
|
1:16:18
|
[women shouting]
|
|
1:16:19
|
["Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dogg playing]
|
|
1:16:22
|
♪ When the pimp's in the crib, Ma Drop it… ♪
|
|
1:16:24
|
-[shouting] -[laughing]
|
|
1:16:26
|
-Hi! -You glowing and shit.
|
|
1:16:28
|
Ladies, who's making all the noise in the lobby?
|
|
1:16:33
|
[shouting]
|
|
1:16:35
|
-Hey! -Hi, gorgey!
|
|
1:16:37
|
-Well, hello, titties! Mwah! -[laughing]
|
|
1:16:41
|
-[women chattering] -Hello, girls!
|
|
1:16:47
|
Who is this white woman?
|
|
1:16:48
|
[Shelley] Oh.
|
|
1:16:49
|
You guys, so this is Miss Shelley, Ezra's mother.
|
|
1:16:54
|
-[all] Oh! -[laughing]
|
|
1:16:56
|
Gosh, you are all so gorgeous.
|
|
1:17:00
|
-I can't stop staring at you. -Thank you.
|
|
1:17:02
|
Honestly, it's like, these earrings
|
|
1:17:04
|
and the orange business up top.
|
|
1:17:08
|
-[laughing] -[Shelley] It's just so dope.
|
|
1:17:10
|
-I can't get over it. And the hair. -It's dope.
|
|
1:17:12
|
I mean, I am straight up simping for all of you.
|
|
1:17:15
|
-[all laugh] -Yeah.
|
|
1:17:18
|
[laughing]
|
|
1:17:20
|
And that is a beautiful tattoo.
|
|
1:17:24
|
-Oh, thank you. -Of course. What does that say?
|
|
1:17:27
|
It says, "Rest in peace, Big Rev."
|
|
1:17:30
|
Oh, condolences.
|
|
1:17:32
|
Yeah, he was my heart.
|
|
1:17:36
|
Um, I wonder why you didn't put it…
|
|
1:17:38
|
-…on your other breast. Wha-- -Mom, for the love of God.
|
|
1:17:41
|
-[clears throat] I'm so sorry. -Yes.
|
|
1:17:43
|
For your loss and for my mom.
|
|
1:17:45
|
-What? [scoffs] -[laughs]
|
|
1:17:47
|
-["Popstar" by DJ Khaled playing] -[crowd chattering, laughing]
|
|
1:17:51
|
-♪ Another one ♪ [echoes] -♪ Yeah ♪
|
|
1:17:53
|
♪ DJ Khaled! ♪
|
|
1:17:55
|
♪ Bitches calling my phone Like I'm locked up, nonstop ♪
|
|
1:17:58
|
♪ From the plane To the fucking helicopter, yeah ♪
|
|
1:18:01
|
♪ Cops pulling up Like I'm giving drugs out ♪
|
|
1:18:04
|
♪ Nah, nah, I'm a pop star, not a doctor ♪
|
|
1:18:07
|
♪ Bitches calling my phone Like I'm locked up, nonstop ♪
|
|
1:18:10
|
♪ From the plane To the fucking helicopter, yeah ♪
|
|
1:18:13
|
♪ Cops pulling up Like I'm giving drugs out ♪
|
|
1:18:15
|
♪ Nah, nah, I'm a pop star, not a doctor ♪
|
|
1:18:19
|
♪ Hey, shorty with the long text I don't talk, hey ♪
|
|
1:18:22
|
♪ Shorty with the long legs She don't walk, hey ♪
|
|
1:18:25
|
♪ Yeah, last year I kept it on the tuck, hey ♪
|
|
1:18:28
|
♪ 2020, I came to fuck it up, yeah ♪
|
|
1:18:31
|
♪ I wanna long life, a legendary one ♪
|
|
1:18:34
|
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ -♪ I want a quick death and an easy one ♪
|
|
1:18:37
|
♪ I want a pretty girl and an honest one ♪
|
|
1:18:40
|
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ -♪ I want this drink and another one… ♪
|
|
1:18:43
|
[cheering]
|
|
1:18:45
|
♪ I'm a pop star This shit ain't bubblegum ♪
|
|
1:18:48
|
♪ You would probably think My manager is Scooter Braun… ♪
|
|
1:18:50
|
[man snorting] Ah!
|
|
1:18:52
|
[chuckles, clears throat]
|
|
1:18:55
|
Hey, let me get this straight.
|
|
1:18:57
|
Every single person that you know does coke, but you don't?
|
|
1:19:02
|
Yeah, it's crazy and upsetting.
|
|
1:19:04
|
It's… It's driving us apart, honestly.
|
|
1:19:08
|
I miss them the way they were, you know.
|
|
1:19:11
|
Yo! Ezra! Ezra, buddy, buddy. We're almost out.
|
|
1:19:15
|
So we need your guy's number. So we need to call the coke guy.
|
|
1:19:19
|
Your guy, your coke guy. Can we call him? Thank you.
|
|
1:19:22
|
What guy? I don't have a guy!
|
|
1:19:25
|
Ez, what? You definitely have a guy.
|
|
1:19:27
|
-You got a guy. -The coke guy from Vegas from last time.
|
|
1:19:30
|
Just call him. Quit holding out.
|
|
1:19:31
|
I think you're so high on cocaine, you don't know what you're saying.
|
|
1:19:34
|
I don't have a coke guy.
|
|
1:19:38
|
-[laughing] -No. You have a guy.
|
|
1:19:40
|
We bought cocaine from him.
|
|
1:19:41
|
-He is a cocaine dealer. -[man 2] Yeah.
|
|
1:19:43
|
And we bought coke,
|
|
1:19:45
|
and you got so high that you ended up passing out on the Strip.
|
|
1:19:49
|
You had cocaine all over your face.
|
|
1:19:51
|
Wait, I think I remember you.
|
|
1:19:53
|
You… You shit your pants last time.
|
|
1:19:55
|
-Yes, you did! You shit your pants! -[all laughing]
|
|
1:19:58
|
-From cocaine use! You did that. -[mouths] Shut the fuck up.
|
|
1:20:01
|
Sniff, sniff, motherfuckers, guess who I found.
|
|
1:20:03
|
-[all] Coke guy! -[Mo] Exactly! Ho-ho!
|
|
1:20:07
|
Ezra! Ezra, that's the guy I was talking about.
|
|
1:20:11
|
The coke guy!
|
|
1:20:12
|
Look. Look, look at his knuckles.
|
|
1:20:14
|
Yeah, it says "Coke Guy" right there on his knuckles.
|
|
1:20:16
|
Ezra! Thank you for the Edible Arrangement on my birthday.
|
|
1:20:20
|
Such a mensch. For you, Papi.
|
|
1:20:25
|
God damn. That's a lot of cocaine you got there, Ezra.
|
|
1:20:30
|
Yeah.
|
|
1:20:32
|
Hey, you shit on yourself last time you was here?
|
|
1:20:36
|
You shat your slacks?
|
|
1:20:38
|
Yes, but not from cocaine.
|
|
1:20:41
|
It was from… It was from Chipotle.
|
|
1:20:45
|
-[chattering] -[laughing]
|
|
1:20:47
|
-I'm ready. I am ready! -Oh!
|
|
1:20:50
|
-Seven letters. Plural. -Yeah, right.
|
|
1:20:53
|
A group of people who move beautifully.
|
|
1:20:56
|
Okay, you said plural, so there's an "s."
|
|
1:20:59
|
-[mother] "S." -Good.
|
|
1:21:00
|
-Oh, strippers! Strippers! -[woman] Too many letters.
|
|
1:21:02
|
[imitates buzzer]
|
|
1:21:04
|
Oh, wait. Oh, no, no, no, I've got it.
|
|
1:21:07
|
Is it an "n" word?
|
|
1:21:09
|
[mother exhales]
|
|
1:21:12
|
[Shelley] No.
|
|
1:21:14
|
No, no. I meant N-Navajos.
|
|
1:21:17
|
-[woman] Oh, jeez. -[Shelley] No, that's where I was going.
|
|
1:21:19
|
Was Navajos, because, um…
|
|
1:21:22
|
-You know, when they move, the Navajo-- -[Liza] Mom.
|
|
1:21:24
|
Mom, please.
|
|
1:21:26
|
[Shelley] What?
|
|
1:21:27
|
-Oh. Dancers! -[screaming]
|
|
1:21:32
|
Oh, my God!
|
|
1:21:33
|
What the hell!
|
|
1:21:34
|
What the hell is wrong with you?
|
|
1:21:36
|
-[woman 1 shouts] -[gasps]
|
|
1:21:37
|
-[woman 2] Oh, my God! -[shouts]
|
|
1:21:39
|
[shouting]
|
|
1:21:40
|
No, no!
|
|
1:21:42
|
[woman 2] It's okay. Your braids look good.
|
|
1:21:43
|
It's hooked onto my…
|
|
1:21:45
|
-It's okay. Somebody get her a wig. -[chattering]
|
|
1:21:48
|
-Did you know this was a wig? -No, I… I didn't know that.
|
|
1:21:51
|
I mean, this… this is kind of amazing craftsmanship, don't you think? Because--
|
|
1:21:54
|
-Gimme the girl's wig back. Gimme the wig. -What--
|
|
1:21:57
|
-Now it's all tangled up. -[woman 3] You're okay.
|
|
1:21:59
|
-[woman 1] Let's go! -[woman 2] Okay.
|
|
1:22:01
|
[woman 1] We out.
|
|
1:22:03
|
What ha--
|
|
1:22:05
|
-[Ezra] Was your trip as bad as mine? -[Amira] I guess you could say that.
|
|
1:22:08
|
[exhales] Yeah, mine was rough.
|
|
1:22:11
|
Did your dad say anything?
|
|
1:22:13
|
No. Why? Should he?
|
|
1:22:16
|
No, just that, uh, everything went okay,
|
|
1:22:19
|
and it was totally normal, so, yeah.
|
|
1:22:23
|
-Okay. -Why was yours rough? 'Cause my mom?
|
|
1:22:26
|
[Amira sighs] I don't wanna talk about it.
|
|
1:22:28
|
[scoffs] What'd she do this time?
|
|
1:22:30
|
Ezra, I don't-- I really don't wanna talk about it.
|
|
1:22:32
|
Just tell me what she did.
|
|
1:22:35
|
[sighs] Okay, she pulled the same tone-deaf shit she does all the time.
|
|
1:22:39
|
But that's what y'all do, so…
|
|
1:22:42
|
What type of shit is that to say?
|
|
1:22:46
|
I'm sorry. I just got a lot on my mind.
|
|
1:22:49
|
I'm sorry.
|
|
1:22:51
|
[Ezra sighs] Okay.
|
|
1:22:56
|
Whoa, whoa. What are you doing?
|
|
1:22:59
|
-Throwing this shit away. -Why?
|
|
1:23:01
|
Because I didn't get the job, Ezra. That's why.
|
|
1:23:04
|
What?
|
|
1:23:05
|
The producer called me and told me that he went with someone else.
|
|
1:23:09
|
Someone who has more period piece experience. I don't know.
|
|
1:23:14
|
[Ezra] Baby, I'm sorry.
|
|
1:23:15
|
If it's any consolation, I can hold you down for a while.
|
|
1:23:19
|
[scoffs] No, Ezra, I don't wanna be some kept woman.
|
|
1:23:24
|
I'm just trying to think of ways to help you, all right?
|
|
1:23:28
|
Like… [sighs]
|
|
1:23:30
|
-Let me-- -[Amira sighs]
|
|
1:23:31
|
Let me call my family friend Rick Greenwald.
|
|
1:23:34
|
He's got connections,
|
|
1:23:35
|
and he'll look out for you on your next job.
|
|
1:23:37
|
Oh, the fucking luxury.
|
|
1:23:39
|
Are you not listening to what I'm saying? Are you not hearing me?
|
|
1:23:42
|
Everything I have, I've gotten on my own.
|
|
1:23:43
|
I've worked really hard for it
|
|
1:23:45
|
and worked through all this racist bullshit,
|
|
1:23:48
|
all for you to be able to come in
|
|
1:23:49
|
and call your family friend to give me a job
|
|
1:23:52
|
I probably should have got five years ago?
|
|
1:23:54
|
How do you think that makes me feel?
|
|
1:23:56
|
Well, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm just trying to, like, help.
|
|
1:24:00
|
And it's okay to accept help from someone who loves you.
|
|
1:24:04
|
That's really easy for you to say because that's how life has worked for you.
|
|
1:24:07
|
That's not how it works for me.
|
|
1:24:09
|
Whatever. We have to get ready for this rehearsal dinner.
|
|
1:24:12
|
I'm going to the bathroom. Alone.
|
|
1:24:14
|
Please.
|
|
1:24:17
|
Yeah, I don't wanna go to the bathroom with you.
|
|
1:24:19
|
[Amira] Since when?
|
|
1:24:21
|
My charger's in there though.
|
|
1:24:24
|
Let me just grab my charger before you're in there for a while.
|
|
1:24:27
|
[Amira] Oh, my God!
|
|
1:24:28
|
-[man] One, two… - ♪ Moon ♪
|
|
1:24:31
|
♪ River ♪
|
|
1:24:34
|
♪ Wider than a mile… ♪
|
|
1:24:40
|
[chattering]
|
|
1:24:42
|
♪ Some day… ♪ [vocalizing]
|
|
1:24:47
|
[chattering]
|
|
1:24:54
|
-[chattering continues] -[laughing]
|
|
1:24:59
|
-Woody! -Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
|
|
1:25:02
|
My name is Akbar Mohammad, bro.
|
|
1:25:04
|
Oh, man. Mama named you Woody. I'm calling you Woody.
|
|
1:25:08
|
Yeah, Mama didn't give birth to no fake-Versace-wearing,
|
|
1:25:11
|
PPP-loan-scamming career criminal, but here we are.
|
|
1:25:15
|
This is Versace.
|
|
1:25:16
|
Nigga, please.
|
|
1:25:17
|
Anyway, I ain't no criminal, okay?
|
|
1:25:19
|
It was a peeping Tom charge, okay?
|
|
1:25:22
|
I was looking in there, peeping to see if my baby mama was cheating,
|
|
1:25:25
|
so I could get lower prices on my child support.
|
|
1:25:29
|
Why peep through the window?
|
|
1:25:30
|
Because I wanted to see somebody have her broke down over, like a shotgun.
|
|
1:25:34
|
That ain't gonna lower your child support.
|
|
1:25:36
|
The judge seen her being a ho, my child support will go low.
|
|
1:25:39
|
Can't go up in the judge, "I seen her bent over, Your Honor."
|
|
1:25:41
|
"I should get less."
|
|
1:25:43
|
[chuckles] The judge ain't gonna give you less money.
|
|
1:25:45
|
I've done it before.
|
|
1:25:47
|
-Hi, Uncle EJ. -[EJ] Hey, baby!
|
|
1:25:49
|
Hey!
|
|
1:25:51
|
This is Ezra. Ezra, this my Uncle EJ.
|
|
1:25:55
|
-What's up, Ez? What'd you say, Ez-- -Ezra.
|
|
1:25:57
|
-Famous Uncle EJ. Heard a lot about you. -This is my uncle.
|
|
1:25:59
|
[EJ] Okay.
|
|
1:26:00
|
Yeah, this is Ezra. This is the man.
|
|
1:26:03
|
-My man, all right. -[Akbar exhales]
|
|
1:26:05
|
Okay, I'm gonna go say what's up to Renee.
|
|
1:26:08
|
-[EJ] Yeah. -Y'all be nice.
|
|
1:26:09
|
We'll be nice to Ezra.
|
|
1:26:10
|
You gonna let this credit card sit here, we gonna swipe him.
|
|
1:26:13
|
[Amira laughs]
|
|
1:26:14
|
He look like an AmEx, standing here with his hair slicked back.
|
|
1:26:17
|
-Oh. He lying. -[chuckling]
|
|
1:26:19
|
-[laughs] All right. -All right. Okay.
|
|
1:26:21
|
Come back soon if you want.
|
|
1:26:22
|
-Ezra does a podcast on Black culture. -Oh!
|
|
1:26:27
|
Tell him, Ezra.
|
|
1:26:29
|
Yeah, I do podcasts.
|
|
1:26:31
|
About what?
|
|
1:26:32
|
The culture.
|
|
1:26:34
|
Oh, you're gonna just say "culture" and leave "Black" out?
|
|
1:26:37
|
[EJ laughs] You gotta get that money some kind of way, baby, huh?
|
|
1:26:40
|
Give me $150 real quick. Don't tell her I asked for the money.
|
|
1:26:44
|
-I won't. I'll Venmo-- -Give me a Cîroc.
|
|
1:26:45
|
And, uh, the white Barry White something to drink.
|
|
1:26:49
|
[laughing]
|
|
1:26:52
|
["Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe" by Barry White playing]
|
|
1:26:55
|
-[chattering] -Cheers!
|
|
1:26:58
|
[laughing]
|
|
1:27:01
|
♪ My darling, I… ♪
|
|
1:27:03
|
[tapping glass]
|
|
1:27:04
|
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I got something to say.
|
|
1:27:06
|
-I got something to say. Uh… -[man] Okay, say it!
|
|
1:27:08
|
This is nice, y'all. This is real nice.
|
|
1:27:11
|
I ain't never had no, uh, wedding like this,
|
|
1:27:14
|
but I mean, I've been married three times. That's right.
|
|
1:27:17
|
Two times at the courthouse
|
|
1:27:19
|
and then one time at the Benihana's. [chuckles]
|
|
1:27:22
|
We ain't had no reservations, nothing like that.
|
|
1:27:24
|
Amira, my cousin, I just wanna say how happy I am for you and Ezra--
|
|
1:27:28
|
Girl, we just wanna say congrats. You marrying this white man.
|
|
1:27:31
|
-Girl, all these white people are here. -[scoffs]
|
|
1:27:34
|
If you like it, we love it, right? [chuckles]
|
|
1:27:37
|
-I stormed the Capitol. -[crowd gasps]
|
|
1:27:40
|
I did. I was there.
|
|
1:27:43
|
Ezra tried to stop me.
|
|
1:27:47
|
He's a liberal cuck, but he's a good man.
|
|
1:27:49
|
To my best friend Ezra, who's kind and thoughtful,
|
|
1:27:53
|
but for whatever reason didn't think to sit me on the Black side of the table,
|
|
1:27:56
|
which just aesthetically makes sense, you know.
|
|
1:27:59
|
Cheers to inclusion and our newly found generational wealth.
|
|
1:28:04
|
"He left the family early, um,
|
|
1:28:07
|
leaving his mother responsible for everybody, including the house."
|
|
1:28:12
|
"And after Mom died in 1984,
|
|
1:28:14
|
Xzibit had no choice
|
|
1:28:17
|
but to move in back with his father in New Mexico."
|
|
1:28:20
|
I… I wanna say… I wanna say it was Albuquerque.
|
|
1:28:23
|
-Okay. I think we can wrap it up. Yeah. -I think.
|
|
1:28:26
|
That vaccine…
|
|
1:28:31
|
makes you gay.
|
|
1:28:32
|
So the moral of the story is
|
|
1:28:34
|
never date a woman who don't respect your wife.
|
|
1:28:37
|
[diners groaning]
|
|
1:28:39
|
No, I didn't mean to-- I said the wrong shit. [sighs]
|
|
1:28:43
|
-[chattering] -[laughing]
|
|
1:28:52
|
Can I have everybody's attention, please?
|
|
1:28:55
|
Attention, everyone.
|
|
1:28:57
|
Yeah, I know it's, uh,
|
|
1:28:58
|
it's customary for the father to give a speech on the wedding day.
|
|
1:29:02
|
But I thought there was some things that I needed to, uh, address tonight.
|
|
1:29:07
|
Um,
|
|
1:29:09
|
when a man's daughter gets married,
|
|
1:29:11
|
they say that the man is giving her away.
|
|
1:29:15
|
Now, that's a really hard pill to swallow.
|
|
1:29:19
|
Because you don't usually know
|
|
1:29:21
|
who the man is that you're giving your daughter away to.
|
|
1:29:24
|
Usually.
|
|
1:29:27
|
But I consider myself fortunate,
|
|
1:29:29
|
because I think I kind of do know who Ezra is.
|
|
1:29:32
|
[mother chuckles]
|
|
1:29:34
|
And he's not a drunken, drugged-out, dream-chasing whore monger
|
|
1:29:40
|
who surrounds himself with a bunch of, uh, racist degenerates.
|
|
1:29:44
|
[chuckling]
|
|
1:29:48
|
I didn't get that guy.
|
|
1:29:51
|
I got this guy.
|
|
1:29:53
|
-[woman] Mmm. Aww. -[chuckling]
|
|
1:29:55
|
[EJ] All right, okay, okay.
|
|
1:29:57
|
So, here's to my beautiful baby girl.
|
|
1:30:00
|
-[all] Cheers! -[mother] We love you.
|
|
1:30:04
|
[Shelley] Congratulations!
|
|
1:30:05
|
[laughing and chattering continue]
|
|
1:30:23
|
Thank you, sir.
|
|
1:30:24
|
Hey.
|
|
1:30:27
|
Oh, Ezra.
|
|
1:30:32
|
Thank you for, uh, what you did back there.
|
|
1:30:35
|
What did I do back there?
|
|
1:30:38
|
Your speech.
|
|
1:30:39
|
You could've, uh, could've blown up my spot.
|
|
1:30:42
|
You didn't, so thanks.
|
|
1:30:44
|
Well, save your thank you, 'cause I didn't do it for you.
|
|
1:30:47
|
I did that for my daughter.
|
|
1:30:49
|
You think I'm gonna embarrass her in front of her whole family?
|
|
1:30:52
|
No.
|
|
1:30:55
|
You don't know me too well.
|
|
1:30:58
|
But here's the thing. I know you.
|
|
1:31:01
|
I've known you from the very start.
|
|
1:31:03
|
I had your number from day one.
|
|
1:31:06
|
And for the life of me,
|
|
1:31:07
|
I do not know why my daughter continues to go down this path with you.
|
|
1:31:12
|
There's one thing that I'm crystal clear on,
|
|
1:31:14
|
is that you are absolutely, positively, unequivocally
|
|
1:31:21
|
not the right the guy for my daughter.
|
|
1:31:24
|
Period.
|
|
1:31:25
|
-Why? -Excuse me.
|
|
1:31:27
|
Why am I not the right guy for your daughter?
|
|
1:31:30
|
Well, shit, where do I begin?
|
|
1:31:31
|
Anywhere.
|
|
1:31:34
|
Well, what… what about we start at your bachelor party?
|
|
1:31:36
|
When I saw you in the room with the strippers and the cocaine,
|
|
1:31:39
|
how about we start there?
|
|
1:31:40
|
Why don't we start with
|
|
1:31:42
|
why you were at my bachelor party in the first place?
|
|
1:31:44
|
You had no right to be there.
|
|
1:31:46
|
Bachelor parties are for people to be weird.
|
|
1:31:48
|
That's not who I am.
|
|
1:31:49
|
Okay? It's my dumb fucking friends.
|
|
1:31:52
|
But you deeboed your way in, and you got what you wanted.
|
|
1:31:54
|
I had a shitty time.
|
|
1:31:56
|
As a matter of fact, I have a shitty time whenever you're around.
|
|
1:32:00
|
You're like the cooler to my life, and I don't know why.
|
|
1:32:04
|
Because the truth is all I've ever done
|
|
1:32:08
|
is love your daughter,
|
|
1:32:10
|
wholly and completely.
|
|
1:32:13
|
And she loves me,
|
|
1:32:15
|
and we wanna marry each other.
|
|
1:32:17
|
And you just decided before you even met me
|
|
1:32:20
|
that you hated me.
|
|
1:32:22
|
[scoffs] And then once you met me, you put all your energy
|
|
1:32:24
|
just towards, like, smoking me out
|
|
1:32:27
|
or trying to prove I don't belong around Black people,
|
|
1:32:29
|
or that I'm a researcher and not a witness.
|
|
1:32:32
|
That's why you brought me to play ball at that park.
|
|
1:32:35
|
Why you brought me to that Crip barbershop
|
|
1:32:37
|
while I'm wearing a red hoodie like an idiot.
|
|
1:32:39
|
It's why you fuck with me about my podcast and my music taste and how I talk
|
|
1:32:43
|
and how I think and who my friends are
|
|
1:32:45
|
and basically everything that I'm a part of.
|
|
1:32:48
|
And I just take it. I take it!
|
|
1:32:50
|
I take your shit. I take it all day.
|
|
1:32:53
|
And it did teach me one thing that you were right about.
|
|
1:32:56
|
[Akbar] And what's that?
|
|
1:32:58
|
I will never, ever, ever
|
|
1:33:03
|
know what it's like to be a Black person in this country.
|
|
1:33:07
|
But I do know what an asshole is.
|
|
1:33:17
|
Yeah, yeah, I know.
|
|
1:33:19
|
I'm really pleased with the way-- and they're such a nice group of--
|
|
1:33:22
|
Oh, Amira! Amira. Hi!
|
|
1:33:26
|
Would you excuse me for just a second?
|
|
1:33:28
|
-Oh, my gosh! -[Amira] Hi.
|
|
1:33:30
|
Hi! I just wanted to stop you
|
|
1:33:32
|
and tell you that I think you look so pretty.
|
|
1:33:34
|
Thank you.
|
|
1:33:36
|
Is that a roller set?
|
|
1:33:37
|
-Hmm? -Your hair. Is it a roller set?
|
|
1:33:41
|
Um, no, it's not.
|
|
1:33:43
|
Oh. Shoot. Okay. It's not individuals, right?
|
|
1:33:48
|
[Amira] No.
|
|
1:33:49
|
No? Okay. Shit.
|
|
1:33:52
|
All right, well, I guess I'm gonna have to go back to the drawing board.
|
|
1:33:55
|
I, uh-- Ever since the bachelorette party…
|
|
1:33:58
|
[Amira] Mm-hmm.
|
|
1:33:59
|
…I just did this really deep dive on Black women's hair.
|
|
1:34:02
|
And, um, oh, for example, I watched the Chris Rock documentary.
|
|
1:34:06
|
I don't know if you've had a chance to see it. It's absolutely fantastic.
|
|
1:34:10
|
And he's so funny.
|
|
1:34:11
|
There's something about his voice that always makes me laugh.
|
|
1:34:14
|
But anyway, there's nothing funny about Black women's hair, you know.
|
|
1:34:17
|
I mean, my God, I just had no idea.
|
|
1:34:20
|
I mean, it really blew my mind.
|
|
1:34:22
|
You know, the energy and the time
|
|
1:34:25
|
and the… the pain and the suffering that Black women go through.
|
|
1:34:29
|
And so, anyway, I just wanted to be well-versed
|
|
1:34:33
|
for when I saw you next, and I'll let you get back to it.
|
|
1:34:36
|
Yeah, and-- but before you go, can you just tell me…
|
|
1:34:39
|
[exhales] What is this style? Just so I know for next time.
|
|
1:34:42
|
-Shelley, I'm not a toy. -[Shelley] Because I--
|
|
1:34:45
|
Hmm?
|
|
1:34:46
|
I really don't appreciate you treating me
|
|
1:34:49
|
like some shiny little object you can show off to your friends.
|
|
1:34:53
|
Oh, no, I would never do anything like that.
|
|
1:34:55
|
-[Amira] No, you are. -No--
|
|
1:34:56
|
-[Amira] Just let me finish. Yes, you do. -Oh, no, I--
|
|
1:34:58
|
Since I met you, I've been nothing but kind and respectful.
|
|
1:35:02
|
And it's starting to feel like
|
|
1:35:03
|
you're all happy that you have this Black daughter-in-law
|
|
1:35:06
|
now that it's cool to care about Black people.
|
|
1:35:10
|
I bet every time we hang out, you tell one of your friends,
|
|
1:35:13
|
and I can guarantee you that what you don't tell them
|
|
1:35:15
|
is that every time we hang out,
|
|
1:35:17
|
you are wildly offensive and incredibly inappropriate.
|
|
1:35:23
|
-Well, I'm not-- -[Amira] Oh, and now you're gonna cry.
|
|
1:35:25
|
You're gonna clutch your pearls and play the victim
|
|
1:35:27
|
as if everything I just said, none of that was valid.
|
|
1:35:30
|
My feelings are not valid.
|
|
1:35:31
|
Your feelings are hurt.
|
|
1:35:33
|
-Am I being too aggressive with you? -[splutters]
|
|
1:35:35
|
[Amira] Am I giving you "angry"?
|
|
1:35:38
|
The crazy thing is that I really genuinely wanted to get to know you,
|
|
1:35:41
|
woman to woman.
|
|
1:35:42
|
I thought you would see me.
|
|
1:35:44
|
-That's what I-- -[Amira] No, it's not.
|
|
1:35:47
|
Because you can't just see me for me.
|
|
1:35:50
|
It doesn't matter how many books you read
|
|
1:35:51
|
or how many documentaries that you watch,
|
|
1:35:54
|
because at the end of the day, I won't just be Amira to you.
|
|
1:35:57
|
I'll always be Amira, the Black token daughter-in-law,
|
|
1:36:01
|
and that's ignorant.
|
|
1:36:03
|
Amira, are you okay?
|
|
1:36:05
|
Not really.
|
|
1:36:07
|
-Miss Shelley, are you okay? -Mm-hmm.
|
|
1:36:10
|
All right. Uh, Amira, honey.
|
|
1:36:16
|
[sniffles]
|
|
1:36:21
|
[both] Can I talk to you for a second?
|
|
1:36:23
|
Yes.
|
|
1:36:28
|
[gasps] You wanna go first?
|
|
1:36:31
|
-I do, but it sounds like you do too. -I do. [exhales]
|
|
1:36:38
|
Ezra…
|
|
1:36:44
|
I don't know how this is gonna work.
|
|
1:36:49
|
Okay.
|
|
1:36:51
|
[Amira] It's just…
|
|
1:36:53
|
You know, your family,
|
|
1:36:56
|
my family, the whole thing,
|
|
1:36:59
|
I don't know if it's supposed to be this hard,
|
|
1:37:03
|
and if I'm being honest, I just…
|
|
1:37:06
|
Oh, God, I don't have it in me.
|
|
1:37:11
|
I'm so sorry.
|
|
1:37:18
|
[Ezra sighs]
|
|
1:37:21
|
Uh, I don't disagree.
|
|
1:37:26
|
The stuff with our families, like…
|
|
1:37:30
|
my mom, your dad.
|
|
1:37:33
|
Yeah, I guess I don't see it changing, so…
|
|
1:37:40
|
I do, uh, I do want you to know that,
|
|
1:37:44
|
uh, this time with you has been, like, the happiest time of my life, so…
|
|
1:37:55
|
I feel the same way. [sobs]
|
|
1:38:07
|
Okay.
|
|
1:38:11
|
[slow-tempo music playing]
|
|
1:38:16
|
[vocalizing]
|
|
1:38:23
|
[sniffles]
|
|
1:38:31
|
[Ezra] I've been thinking about something you said.
|
|
1:38:33
|
[Mo] Nigga, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that one.
|
|
1:38:36
|
[Ezra] You're extremely unlikable. You know that, right?
|
|
1:38:39
|
-What? -Whoa-ho!
|
|
1:38:42
|
-[chuckles] Yee-hee! -[Ezra] Oh, my!
|
|
1:38:44
|
[Mo] Anyways, what did I say
|
|
1:38:46
|
that's been profoundly rattling around in your consciousness?
|
|
1:38:49
|
You said that Black people and white people could never be cool,
|
|
1:38:52
|
and I think you're right.
|
|
1:38:53
|
[scoffs] Yeah, bro, of course I was right.
|
|
1:38:56
|
I'm always right.
|
|
1:38:57
|
["Where Did the Day Go" by Wet playing]
|
|
1:39:00
|
[chuckles] Is that what's bothering you? That I'm always right?
|
|
1:39:02
|
[Ezra] No, what's bothering me is, for a second, I believed you were wrong.
|
|
1:39:07
|
That there was hope for us. For the future.
|
|
1:39:12
|
[Amira sighs]
|
|
1:39:13
|
[Ezra] That when two people from two different walks of life came together,
|
|
1:39:16
|
they could get by on their compassion for one another
|
|
1:39:19
|
and their curiosity and their love.
|
|
1:39:21
|
♪ Watch as the distance ♪
|
|
1:39:25
|
♪ Leads to the fallout ♪
|
|
1:39:29
|
♪ The sun is setting now ♪
|
|
1:39:32
|
♪ Somewhere in the back of your mind… ♪
|
|
1:39:36
|
But at the end of the day, when it comes to Black and white people,
|
|
1:39:39
|
I don't think love is enough.
|
|
1:39:41
|
There's too many other outside factors.
|
|
1:39:45
|
♪ Where did the day go… ♪
|
|
1:39:48
|
Whether it be your friends or your family,
|
|
1:39:50
|
people can't accept what they don't understand.
|
|
1:39:53
|
Whether it's right is one thing, but factually, it's true.
|
|
1:39:58
|
We really do live in two worlds.
|
|
1:40:01
|
There's no escaping it.
|
|
1:40:05
|
♪ I see a field below… ♪
|
|
1:40:07
|
I was raised by hip-hop shit.
|
|
1:40:09
|
It's made me who I am, but even with that,
|
|
1:40:11
|
I still wasn't prepared for the realities of a world I'm just not from.
|
|
1:40:15
|
I'll always be an outsider.
|
|
1:40:17
|
Which is why, as fucked up as this sounds,
|
|
1:40:20
|
I feel like if you love something,
|
|
1:40:22
|
as much as you wanna share it with everybody,
|
|
1:40:25
|
I think it's best you keep it for yourself.
|
|
1:40:27
|
See, I told you. The white Barry White, he be spitting some shit!
|
|
1:40:31
|
Him and Joe Rogan.
|
|
1:40:33
|
I ain't mad at Joe Rogan for saying "nigga" every other word,
|
|
1:40:36
|
long as he don't say that shit in my face.
|
|
1:40:38
|
[Mo] To make a relationship work, it's the hardest thing…
|
|
1:40:41
|
Man, you kind of dragged bruh a little bit.
|
|
1:40:43
|
What are you talking about? Ezra? I ain't drag him.
|
|
1:40:45
|
You drug him like a fat bitch's left foot.
|
|
1:40:48
|
No, no, no, no, no, you can miss me with all that shit.
|
|
1:40:51
|
I did exactly what any father would do.
|
|
1:40:55
|
[chuckles] You played him like a white boy,
|
|
1:40:56
|
'cause you knew you could get away with it. Tell the truth!
|
|
1:40:59
|
Oh, you would've handled it differently?
|
|
1:41:01
|
I would've got a car out of his ass.
|
|
1:41:03
|
I'd have probably started me a line of credit,
|
|
1:41:06
|
probably got me a washer and dryer,
|
|
1:41:08
|
probably a bottle of cologne.
|
|
1:41:10
|
Try to get my back patio done.
|
|
1:41:12
|
This is the stuff that he probably wanna do.
|
|
1:41:14
|
You in your own reality, huh?
|
|
1:41:15
|
That shit ain't gonna happen.
|
|
1:41:17
|
It don't matter what I would've did.
|
|
1:41:20
|
Times have changed. The world is different, Woody.
|
|
1:41:22
|
Akbar, bitch. My name is Akbar.
|
|
1:41:25
|
-It's the same amount of syllables-- -See? See?
|
|
1:41:28
|
You didn't see what I saw.
|
|
1:41:30
|
Him and his friends, the degenerates, was doing so much cocaine in Vegas,
|
|
1:41:34
|
it looked like they was doing a reboot of Scarface.
|
|
1:41:37
|
So that's what it's about? Cocaine?
|
|
1:41:39
|
Yes, that's one of the main reasons. Yes, cocaine.
|
|
1:41:41
|
He was doing not just cocaine. Lots of cocaine.
|
|
1:41:44
|
It was copious amounts of cocaine, everywhere.
|
|
1:41:47
|
He did so much cocaine, he shit on hisself!
|
|
1:41:50
|
-You seen him shit on hisself? -No, I ain't see him shit on hisself.
|
|
1:41:53
|
But I heard about the other time when he was there and he shit on hisself,
|
|
1:41:56
|
and everybody still talks about it.
|
|
1:41:58
|
-So the whole town knows. -[laughs]
|
|
1:42:00
|
How we gonna be falling in the spot with this nigga?
|
|
1:42:04
|
[EJ] Wow.
|
|
1:42:06
|
Look, I'm not saying it's right, but you did your shit back in the day.
|
|
1:42:11
|
You remember they came out with the Cold Blooded Rick James album?
|
|
1:42:15
|
No, I don't remember the Cold Blooded Rick James album.
|
|
1:42:18
|
Okay, but coke do.
|
|
1:42:19
|
[laughing]
|
|
1:42:21
|
Man, we loved that album.
|
|
1:42:22
|
That was the only time I felt related to you.
|
|
1:42:26
|
And I think you shorted him a little bit.
|
|
1:42:28
|
Yeah, you… you shorted him.
|
|
1:42:31
|
And… And you shorted Amira.
|
|
1:42:34
|
Shorted both of 'em.
|
|
1:42:38
|
-["Where Did the Day Go" playing] -♪ The sun is setting now ♪
|
|
1:42:43
|
♪ Over the city ♪
|
|
1:42:47
|
♪ The light is coming down ♪
|
|
1:42:51
|
♪ You're not with me, oh! ♪
|
|
1:42:55
|
♪ Where did the day go? ♪
|
|
1:42:59
|
♪ I never get to see you ♪
|
|
1:43:02
|
♪ I never get to feel you ♪
|
|
1:43:06
|
[vocalizing]
|
|
1:43:08
|
Can you please stop smiling so big?
|
|
1:43:10
|
-You're freaking out the locals. -What?
|
|
1:43:12
|
Well, I'm excited that my son is gonna buy me some tennis shoes.
|
|
1:43:15
|
[scoffs] I just don't understand why all of a sudden
|
|
1:43:18
|
you need a pair of Dunks so badly.
|
|
1:43:20
|
Because Diane Kaplan's son bought her a pair of tennis shoes
|
|
1:43:23
|
and the bitch won't stop talking about it.
|
|
1:43:26
|
Oh, shit.
|
|
1:43:28
|
What?
|
|
1:43:30
|
Oh, well, that's cool. We can just go in and get the shoes, doesn't matter.
|
|
1:43:34
|
I think you gotta let Diane one up you on this one, Mom.
|
|
1:43:37
|
-I don't really wanna-- -[Shelley] It's…
|
|
1:43:38
|
Ezra?
|
|
1:43:42
|
Oh, uh, Amira, what's up, girl?
|
|
1:43:45
|
Mm. "What's up, girl"?
|
|
1:43:46
|
Why are you sounding like LL Cool J? What's up?
|
|
1:43:50
|
Sorry, I just wasn't expecting to run into you here.
|
|
1:43:53
|
I mean, yeah, same.
|
|
1:44:00
|
Daddy, what's going on?
|
|
1:44:01
|
Oh, fuck me.
|
|
1:44:03
|
Good timing.
|
|
1:44:04
|
Yeah. Okay, I didn't bring you here to buy me shoes.
|
|
1:44:07
|
-Yeah, starting to put that together. -Yeah.
|
|
1:44:09
|
Yeah, and, baby girl, I don't know what I told you to get you down here,
|
|
1:44:12
|
but whatever it was, it was a lie.
|
|
1:44:14
|
The truth is Shelley and I have been talking.
|
|
1:44:17
|
Yep. Uh, we screwed up, you guys.
|
|
1:44:19
|
-Badly. -Yeah.
|
|
1:44:21
|
And we feel like we owe y'all some apologies.
|
|
1:44:23
|
[Shelley] Mm-hmm.
|
|
1:44:24
|
-Can I go first? -[Shelley] Yeah, please, go, go.
|
|
1:44:27
|
Ezra.
|
|
1:44:30
|
Brother.
|
|
1:44:32
|
Man, listen.
|
|
1:44:33
|
I been riding your back from the moment we first met,
|
|
1:44:37
|
and I'm sorry.
|
|
1:44:39
|
'Cause you didn't deserve that.
|
|
1:44:41
|
It's just I couldn't handle the fact that you weren't
|
|
1:44:43
|
what we ever thought Amira would bring home and, uh, you know…
|
|
1:44:47
|
And I never ever thought that I could see my reflection in you, so…
|
|
1:44:52
|
But I do.
|
|
1:44:54
|
And you're a good man.
|
|
1:44:56
|
And a hustler.
|
|
1:44:58
|
And most importantly,
|
|
1:45:00
|
we both love Amira very much, and we'll do anything to make her happy.
|
|
1:45:09
|
[sighs] Okay, it's my turn.
|
|
1:45:12
|
Um, Amira.
|
|
1:45:13
|
[inhales] I am so sorry for everything that I did
|
|
1:45:19
|
and said that was offensive to you.
|
|
1:45:22
|
The truth is I… I was just lost.
|
|
1:45:25
|
You know, my son came home with this beautiful, amazing woman,
|
|
1:45:29
|
and I didn't know anything about her world.
|
|
1:45:31
|
I mean, I thought I did.
|
|
1:45:33
|
And I was just so excited to have a new and different culture in our family,
|
|
1:45:37
|
and I just hope that you accept my apology,
|
|
1:45:40
|
because I do apologize on behalf of all white people.
|
|
1:45:44
|
Except for the racist ones, the actual racist ones.
|
|
1:45:47
|
-[chuckles] -And on behalf of all Jewish people.
|
|
1:45:50
|
Except for Aunt Mitzi because…
|
|
1:45:51
|
-Yeah, she's racist. -She's actually racist.
|
|
1:45:53
|
She's a horrible human being. [sighs]
|
|
1:45:56
|
But really mostly on behalf of me,
|
|
1:45:59
|
Shelley Cohen of Brentwood, California.
|
|
1:46:02
|
I am so sorry, Amira,
|
|
1:46:04
|
because I love you and you are not a toy.
|
|
1:46:08
|
I see you as the real, powerful,
|
|
1:46:12
|
individual person that you are.
|
|
1:46:19
|
Thank you so much, Miss Shelley, that means a lot to me.
|
|
1:46:22
|
And I fully receive that.
|
|
1:46:23
|
It felt very genuine and sincere,
|
|
1:46:26
|
so thank you so much.
|
|
1:46:28
|
And, Ezzy.
|
|
1:46:30
|
[exhales] I'm also sorry for always getting in the way.
|
|
1:46:33
|
No, you're not.
|
|
1:46:34
|
I'm not, honey, but I love you.
|
|
1:46:37
|
-Yeah. I love you too. -I love you, baby, very much.
|
|
1:46:39
|
Okay, so…
|
|
1:46:41
|
Akbar and I had a little idea.
|
|
1:46:45
|
Yes, and we think you're both gonna like it very much.
|
|
1:46:48
|
A lot.
|
|
1:46:52
|
So, did you miss me as much as I missed you?
|
|
1:46:59
|
I missed you so much.
|
|
1:47:02
|
I even got a pair of slides the other day 'cause I wanted to feel close to you.
|
|
1:47:06
|
-[laughs] Eww! -They were Umbros. It was all they had.
|
|
1:47:08
|
-I know. -No.
|
|
1:47:10
|
-I got 'em 'cause I was so sad. -Aww.
|
|
1:47:13
|
-[Ezra] Missed you. -I missed you too.
|
|
1:47:20
|
-[crowd cheering] -["Stay High" playing]
|
|
1:47:28
|
[laughing]
|
|
1:47:32
|
♪ I just want to stay high… ♪
|
|
1:47:36
|
[laughing]
|
|
1:47:38
|
♪ With you… ♪
|
|
1:47:40
|
[laughing]
|
|
1:47:43
|
[Ezra] This is great!
|
|
1:47:45
|
I love you.
|
|
1:47:46
|
[Ezra] Aww!
|
|
1:47:50
|
[mother chats indistinctly]
|
|
1:47:52
|
[laughing]
|
|
1:47:57
|
[rabbi] Blessings to all who are present
|
|
1:47:59
|
to witness Ezra and Amira unite their lives in marriage.
|
|
1:48:03
|
Two hearts as one.
|
|
1:48:04
|
Ezra and Amira, you choose each other to build a home,
|
|
1:48:08
|
not of brick and mortar, but a home and haven in your hearts together.
|
|
1:48:12
|
May it be fulfilled each day
|
|
1:48:15
|
as you are on this beautiful journey of love.
|
|
1:48:18
|
["N****s in Paris" playing]
|
|
1:48:22
|
[audience] Aww!
|
|
1:48:24
|
Just a little heavy on the tongue.
|
|
1:48:25
|
Most white people do.
|
|
1:48:27
|
[cheering]
|
|
1:48:35
|
♪ So I ball so hard Motherfuckers wanna fine me ♪
|
|
1:48:38
|
♪ But first, niggas gotta find me ♪
|
|
1:48:39
|
♪ What's 50 grand to a motherfucker Like me, can you please remind me? ♪
|
|
1:48:42
|
♪ Ball so hard, this shit crazy… ♪
|
|
1:48:44
|
-[chanting] -[shouting]
|
|
1:48:48
|
[shouting continues]
|
|
1:48:51
|
[Amira] Oh!
|
|
1:48:52
|
[laughing]
|
|
1:48:55
|
Can you believe this is happening?
|
|
1:48:58
|
Yep! [laughs]
|
|
1:49:00
|
Wow. They look so happy, huh?
|
|
1:49:01
|
-Yeah, they do. -[woman shouts]
|
|
1:49:04
|
Mr. and Mrs. Cohen.
|
|
1:49:06
|
Mr. and Mrs. Mohammad-Cohen.
|
|
1:49:09
|
Yep.
|
|
1:49:10
|
Ain't that a bitch!
|
|
1:49:11
|
[laughing]
|
|
1:49:13
|
♪ Gold bottles, scold models ♪
|
|
1:49:15
|
♪ Spillin' Ace on my sick J's ♪
|
|
1:49:16
|
♪ Ball so hard, bitch, behave ♪
|
|
1:49:18
|
♪ Just might let you meet Ye ♪
|
|
1:49:20
|
♪ Chi-towns, D. Rose I'm moving the Nets, BK ♪
|
|
1:49:23
|
♪ Ball so hard Motherfuckers wanna fine me… ♪
|
|
1:49:30
|
♪ Ball so hard Motherfuckers wanna fine me ♪
|
|
1:49:47
|
["Trauma Baby" by Malcolm Mays playing] ♪ Trauma so deep can't change me, baby ♪
|
|
1:49:50
|
♪ Pain so deep that it changed me, baby ♪
|
|
1:49:52
|
♪ Trauma too deep can't save me, baby ♪
|
|
1:49:54
|
♪ Scars ♪
|
|
1:49:56
|
♪ Trauma so deep can't change me, baby ♪
|
|
1:49:58
|
♪ Pain so deep that it changed me, baby ♪
|
|
1:50:00
|
♪ Trauma too deep Can't save me, baby, no ♪
|
|
1:50:04
|
♪ Fuck an arrest, fuck up a check ♪
|
|
1:50:06
|
♪ I can't sleep tonight ♪
|
|
1:50:09
|
♪ She fuck with the best It's all in her chest ♪
|
|
1:50:11
|
-♪ She got the sweetest life ♪ -♪ Yeah! ♪
|
|
1:50:13
|
♪ She gonna complain about a ring ♪
|
|
1:50:15
|
-♪ Bought her a Range, be quiet ♪ -♪ Uh! ♪
|
|
1:50:17
|
♪ I can't explain, I'm just in pain I'm with the Jays, we slide, mmm! ♪
|
|
1:50:21
|
♪ They killed my brother From other mothers ♪
|
|
1:50:23
|
-♪ They gonna pay the price ♪ -♪ Oh! ♪
|
|
1:50:25
|
♪ I'm trying to change But I got my ways ♪
|
|
1:50:27
|
- ♪ So I'm in the street tonight ♪ -♪ Yeah! ♪
|
|
1:50:30
|
♪ This ain't a phase, candles and graves We come with beams and pipes ♪
|
|
1:50:34
|
♪ I'm above waves, I walk on water Like I'm with Jesus Christ ♪
|
|
1:50:38
|
♪ Trauma so deep can't change me, baby ♪
|
|
1:50:40
|
♪ Pain so deep that it changed me, baby ♪
|
|
1:50:42
|
♪ Trauma too deep can't save me, baby ♪
|
|
1:50:44
|
♪ Scars ♪
|
|
1:50:46
|
♪ Trauma so deep can't change me, baby ♪
|
|
1:50:48
|
♪ Pain so deep that it changed me, baby ♪
|
|
1:50:50
|
♪ Trauma too deep Can't save me, baby, no ♪
|
|
1:50:54
|
♪ Chain about a key, shoes about a key ♪
|
|
1:50:58
|
♪ My hood look up to me Treat me like Ghetto G.O.D. ♪
|
|
1:51:02
|
♪ Know it's blasphemy ♪
|
|
1:51:04
|
♪ But sometimes when I sleep ♪
|
|
1:51:07
|
♪ Pray to God that A shooter's soul he keeps, Lord! ♪
|
|
1:51:11
|
♪ If it's too late for me It ain't too late for them ♪
|
|
1:51:15
|
♪ When we step at shows Kappas Omegas, we kick it in ♪
|
|
1:51:19
|
♪ I keep a blicky right on the hip Stick hold like 50 for many men ♪
|
|
1:51:23
|
♪ Ain't seen a Bible stop bullets yet ♪
|
|
1:51:25
|
♪ Funerals only church we attend, oh! ♪
|
|
1:51:28
|
♪ Trauma so deep can't change me, baby ♪
|
|
1:51:30
|
♪ Pain so deep that it changed me, baby ♪
|
|
1:51:32
|
♪ Trauma too deep can't save me, baby ♪
|
|
1:51:34
|
♪ Scars ♪
|
|
1:51:36
|
♪ Trauma so deep can't change me, baby ♪
|
|
1:51:38
|
♪ Pain so deep that it changed me, baby ♪
|
|
1:51:40
|
♪ Trauma too deep Can't save me, baby, no ♪
|
|
1:51:44
|
♪ We ironed up, we don't hide the poles Touch one of us then we all on go ♪
|
|
1:51:48
|
♪ You know it stuck if it's on the floor ♪
|
|
1:51:50
|
♪ We air it out, someone close the door ♪
|
|
1:51:53
|
♪ We do it up, and we do the most We from the side, need all the dough ♪
|
|
1:51:57
|
♪ Higher the stakes is all I know All I know, all I know ♪
|
|
1:52:01
|
♪ Trauma too deep can't change me, baby ♪
|
|
1:52:03
|
-[hip-hop music playing] -[vocalizing]
|
|
1:52:06
|
♪ So lay your head beside me ♪
|
|
1:52:09
|
♪ So lay your head beside me ♪
|
|
1:52:12
|
[vocalizing]
|
|
1:52:28
|
♪ Maybe sometime ♪
|
|
1:52:32
|
♪ Maybe sometime ♪
|
|
1:52:35
|
♪ Maybe sometime ♪
|
|
1:52:41
|
♪ Maybe sometime ♪
|
|
1:52:45
|
♪ Maybe sometime ♪
|
|
1:52:48
|
♪ Maybe sometime ♪
|
|
1:52:51
|
♪ Maybe… hey! ♪
|
|
1:53:08
|
[slow-tempo music playing]
|